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1.1 Erat there was senex an old man quīdam a certain nōmine by name Paulīnus Paulinus quī who per through multōs many annōs years errāverat had wandered nec nor requiem rest invēnerat had found
1.2 Uxōrem wife ōlim once cārissimam most dear āmīserat he had lost et and duōs two fīliōs sons quōs whom pestilentia plague crūdēlis cruel rapuerat had snatched away
1.3 Domum home quoque also relīquerat he had left nam for sine without amōre love pariētēs walls nihil nothing sunt are nisi except saxa stones mortua dead
1.4 Cor heart eius his inquiētum restless erat was et and per through viās roads longās long ambulābat he walked nesciēns not knowing quid what quaereret he was seeking
1.5 Nōnne was it not so hoc this est is condiciō condition hominum of men quod that semper always quaerimus we seek nec nor intellegimus understand quid what quaerāmus we are seeking
1.6 Putāmus we think nōs we rēs things āmissās lost quaerere to seek sed but rē in truth vērā true Eum Him quaerimus we seek quī who omnia all things fēcit made
1.7 Paulīnus Paulinus tamen however haec these things nōndum not yet intellegēbat understood et and sōlus alone sub under caelō sky vāstō vast ambulābat walked
1.8 Interdum sometimes memoriā by memory uxōris of his wife commōtus moved lacrimābat he wept interdum sometimes vōcēs voices fīliōrum of his sons audīre to hear sibi to himself vidēbātur he seemed
1.9 Ō oh mīra wondrous vīs power memoriae of memory in in quā which mortuī the dead vīvunt live et and praeterita past things praesentia present fiunt become
1.10 Sed but memoria memory sine without spē hope vulnus a wound est is nōn not remedium a remedy
2.1 Quōdam on a certain diē day cum when iam already fessus weary esset he was et and pedēs feet eius his dolērent were aching Paulīnus Paulinus hortum a garden invēnit found mūrō by a wall antīquō ancient circumdatum surrounded
2.2 Porta a gate parva small aperta open stābat stood et and odor a scent rōsārum of roses ē from hortō the garden manābat was flowing quasi as if invītāns inviting viātōrem the traveler
2.3 Intrāvit he entered et and ecce behold hortus a garden pulcherrimus most beautiful patēbat lay open ubi where arborēs trees altissimae very tall umbram shade grātam pleasant praebēbant were providing
2.4 Fōns a fountain in in mediō the middle hortī of the garden manābat was flowing cuius whose aqua water tam so pūra pure erat was ut that fundus the bottom vidērī to be seen posset was able
2.5 Ibi there senex an old man alter another sedēbat was sitting quī who hortum the garden cūrābat was tending et and rōsās roses manibus with hands lēnibus gentle tangēbat was touching
2.6 “Salvē greetings viātor” traveler inquit said hortulānus the gardener “intrā enter et and quiēsce rest nam for videō I see tē you dēfessum exhausted et and onerātum burdened esse” to be
2.7 Paulīnus Paulinus iuxtā beside fontem the fountain cōnsēdit sat down et and suspirium a sigh longum long ēmīsit let out et and aquam water frīgidam cold bibit drank
2.8 “Quid what tē you torquet” torments rogāvit asked hortulānus the gardener “nam for in in oculīs eyes tuīs your magnum a great pondus weight cernō” I perceive
2.9 “Omnia all things āmīsī” I have lost respondit replied Paulīnus Paulinus “uxōrem wife fīliōs sons domum home et and nunc now nihil nothing habeō I have praeter except memoriam memory eōrum of them quae which ipsa itself mē me cruciat” tortures
3.1 Hortulānus the gardener paulīsper for a little while tacuit was silent deinde then dīxit said “dīc tell mihi me quōmodo how uxōrem your wife tuam your āmāverīs” you loved
3.2 Paulīnus Paulinus subrīsit smiled gently quod because iam already diū for a long time nōn not fēcerat he had done et and dīcere to speak coepit began
3.3 “Caecilia Caecilia nōmine by name erat was et and rīsus the laughter eius her erat was sīcut like aqua water quae which super over lapidēs stones currit runs et and oculī eyes eius her colōrem the colour caelī of the sky autumnālis autumnal habēbant” had
3.4 Dum while haec these things nārrābat he was telling vultus the face eius his mūtātus changed est was et and in in oculīs eyes eius his lūx a light nova new appāruit appeared
3.5 “Vidēsne” do you see inquit said hortulānus the gardener “quid what modo just now acciderit? happened dum while nārrābās you were telling Caecilia Caecilia tibi to you praesēns present erat was nōn not absēns” absent
3.6 “Sed but mortua dead est” she is Paulīnus Paulinus trīstis sadly respondit replied
3.7 “Mortuane is she dead rē in reality vērā?” true rogāvit asked hortulānus the gardener “an or in in memoriā memory tuā your vīvit does she live et and rīdet laugh et and tē you amat? love Campī the fields memoriae of memory vāstī vast et and profundī deep sunt are nec nor mors death eōs them ingredī to enter potest” is able
3.8 “Nōnne is it not so that memoria memory dēcipit?” deceives obiēcit objected Paulīnus Paulinus “nōnne is it not so that imāginēs images tantum only servat it preserves nōn not rēs things ipsās?” themselves
3.9 “Audī” listen inquit said hortulānus the gardener “cum when Caeciliam Caecilia in in memoriā memory vidēs you see nōn not imāginem an image mortuam dead vidēs you see sed but lūcem a light vīvam living quae which in in animā your soul tuā your impressa impressed est is ā by Deō God ipsō” himself
3.10 “Quid what dīcis?” are you saying Paulīnus Paulinus mīrātus wondering rogāvit asked
3.11 “Dīcō” I say respondit replied hortulānus the gardener “memoriam memory tuam your nōn not esse to be sepulchrum a tomb ubi where mortuī the dead iacent lie sed but ātrium an atrium in into quō which Deus God lūcem light suam his īnfundit” pours in
3.12 “Nōn not tū you Caeciliam Caecilia servās” preserve inquit he said “sed but Deus God quī who eam her fēcit made eam her in in tē you custōdit guards dōnec until iterum again conveniātis” you may meet
4.1 Paulīnus Paulinus diū for a long time tacuit was silent et and sonitum the sound fontis of the fountain audiēbat was hearing et and tandem at last locūtus having spoken est he said
4.2 “Sed but tempus time omnia all things ēripit” snatches away inquit he said “annī years praetereunt pass by et and iuventūs youth revenīre to return nōn not potest is able et and mortuī the dead nōn not resurgunt” rise again
4.3 Hortulānus the gardener manū with his hand aquam the water fontis of the fountain tetigit touched et and rogāvit asked “ubi where est is aqua water quae which modo just now fluēbat? was flowing periitne? has it perished an or abiit has it gone aliō elsewhere et and adhūc still est?” exists
4.4 “Adhūc still est” it exists Paulīnus Paulinus respondit replied “sed but aliō elsewhere in in locō” a place
4.5 “Ita so est it is dē concerning tempore” time inquit said hortulānus the gardener “quid what est is tempus? time sī if nēmō no one mē me rogat asks sciō I know sī if rogantī to one asking explicāre to explain velim I wish nesciō” I do not know
4.6 “Praeteritum past iam already nōn not est” exists pergēbat he continued “futūrum future nōndum not yet est exists praesēns present autem however nūllum no spatium duration habet has ubi where ergō therefore est is tempus?” time
4.7 “Nusquam” nowhere Paulīnus Paulinus turbātus troubled dīxit said
4.8 “In in animā the soul tuā” your hortulānus the gardener lēniter gently respondit replied “tempus time in in animā the soul metitur” is measured
4.9 “Trēs three sunt there are praesentēs present moments nōn not trēs three tempōra times memoria memory est is praesēns present dē of praeteritō the past attentiō attention est is praesēns present dē of praesente the present expectātiō expectation est is praesēns present dē of futūrō” the future
4.10 “Itaque” and so inquit said hortulānus the gardener “Caecilia Caecilia tua your nōn not in in tempore time praeteritō past est is quod which nōn does not exstat exist sed but in in memoriā memory tuā your quae which praesēns present est is nunc now et and semper” always
5.1 Paulīnus Paulinus sēnsit felt aliquid something in in pectore his breast movērī being moved quasi as if nōdum a knot antīquum ancient laxārī being loosened
5.2 “Sed but unde whence haec this sapientia wisdom tibi?” to you rogāvit he asked “quis who es are you tū you quī who haec these things nōstī?” know
5.3 Hortulānus the gardener rīsit smiled et and dīxit said “ego I sum am quī who hortum the garden cūrō tends nihil nothing amplius” more
5.4 “Sed but tālia such things nōn not dīcit says hortulānus” a gardener obiēcit objected Paulīnus Paulinus
5.5 “Num surely not putās” do you think respondit replied ille he “sapientiam wisdom ex from nōbīs ourselves venīre? to come nōn not nōs we vēritātem truth facimus make sed but vēritās truth nōs us invenit finds sīcut just as lūx light sōlis of the sun oculōs eyes invenit finds nōn not oculī eyes sōlem” the sun
5.6 “Ita so et also grātia grace est” is pergēbat he continued “nōn not eam it meruistī did you earn nōn not eam it quaesīvistī did you seek sed but hūc hither ductus led es you were ad to hunc this hortum garden hōc at this tempore time et and nōn not cāsū” by chance
5.7 Paulīnus Paulinus lacrimāre to weep coepit began sed but lacrimae tears illae those nōn not erant were dolōris of grief sed but lēvāminis of relief sīcut like plūvia rain post after longam a long siccitātem drought
5.8 Intellēxit he understood enim for nōn not sē himself omnia all things āmīsisse to have lost sed but sē himself ā from rēbus the things āmissīs lost avertisse to have turned away
5.9 Nōn not Caecilia Caecilia ābierat had gone away sed but ipse he himself claudēbat was closing illam that partem part memoriae of memory ubi where ea she vīvēbat was living quia because dolor pain portam the door obstrūxerat had blocked
5.10 “Dolōrem grief portam the door fēcistī” you made inquit said hortulānus the gardener “sed but dolor grief nōn not est is porta a door est it is mūrus a wall quem which nōs we ipsī ourselves aedificāmus build amōr love autem however porta the door est is quae which numquam never clauditur” is closed
6.1 Sōl the sun iam already dēscendēbat was descending et and hortus the garden lūce with light aureā golden plēnus full erat was
6.2 Paulīnus Paulinus sēnsit felt cor heart suum his quod which diū for a long time tam so inquiētum restless fuerat had been nunc now lēnius more gently pulsāre to beat
6.3 Nōn not quod because dolor grief ēvānuisset had vanished sed but quod because amōr love dolōrem grief circumdederat had surrounded et and dolōrem grief in into aliquid something sanctum holy trānsmūtāverat had transformed
6.4 “Manēbisne will you stay hīc?” here rogāvit asked hortulānus the gardener
6.5 “Aliquamdiū” for some time respondit replied Paulīnus Paulinus “nōndum not yet enim for plēnē fully quiēscō I rest sed but iam already sciō I know ubi where requiēs rest quaerenda to be sought sit” is
6.6 “Nōn not in in locō” a place dīxit he said “nōn not in in rēbus things nōn not in in hominibus people sed but in in Eō Him quī who nōs us fēcit made ad toward sē” himself
6.7 Hortulānus the gardener nihil nothing respondit replied sed but subrīsit smiled gently et and rōsam a rose rubram red Paulīnō to Paulinus dedit gave
6.8 Et and Paulīnus Paulinus rōsam the rose accēpit received et and ad to nāsum his nose adtulit brought et and odor the scent ille that erat was sīcut like odor the scent quem which Caecilia Caecilia ōlim once habēbat had in in capillīs her hair suīs her own
6.9 Et and per through odōrem that scent illum that omnia all things rediērunt returned nōn not ut as dolor grief sed but ut as lūx light
6.10 Fēcistī you made nōs us Domine Lord ad toward tē yourself et and inquiētum restless est is cor heart nostrum our dōnec until requiēscat it rests in in tē you
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1.1 Erat senex quīdam nōmine Paulīnus quī per multōs annōs errāverat nec requiem invēnerat.
1.2 Uxōrem ōlim cārissimam āmīserat et duōs fīliōs quōs pestilentia crūdēlis rapuerat.
1.3 Domum quoque relīquerat, nam sine amōre pariētēs nihil sunt nisi saxa mortua.
1.4 Cor eius inquiētum erat et per viās longās ambulābat nesciēns quid quaereret.
1.5 Nōnne hoc est condiciō hominum, quod semper quaerimus nec intellegimus quid quaerāmus?
1.6 Putāmus nōs rēs āmissās quaerere, sed rē vērā Eum quaerimus quī omnia fēcit.
1.7 Paulīnus tamen haec nōndum intellegēbat et sōlus sub caelō vāstō ambulābat.
1.8 Interdum memoriā uxōris commōtus lacrimābat, interdum vōcēs fīliōrum audīre sibi vidēbātur.
1.9 Ō mīra vīs memoriae, in quā mortuī vīvunt et praeterita praesentia fiunt!
1.10 Sed memoria sine spē vulnus est, nōn remedium.
2.1 Quōdam diē cum iam fessus esset et pedēs eius dolērent, Paulīnus hortum invēnit mūrō antīquō circumdatum.
2.2 Porta parva aperta stābat, et odor rōsārum ē hortō manābat quasi invītāns viātōrem.
2.3 Intrāvit, et ecce hortus pulcherrimus patēbat ubi arborēs altissimae umbram grātam praebēbant.
2.4 Fōns in mediō hortī manābat cuius aqua tam pūra erat ut fundus vidērī posset.
2.5 Ibi senex alter sedēbat quī hortum cūrābat et rōsās manibus lēnibus tangēbat.
2.6 “Salvē, viātor,” inquit hortulānus, “intrā et quiēsce, nam videō tē dēfessum et onerātum esse.”
2.7 Paulīnus iuxtā fontem cōnsēdit et suspirium longum ēmīsit et aquam frīgidam bibit.
2.8 “Quid tē torquet?” rogāvit hortulānus, “nam in oculīs tuīs magnum pondus cernō.”
2.9 “Omnia āmīsī,” respondit Paulīnus, “uxōrem, fīliōs, domum, et nunc nihil habeō praeter memoriam eōrum, quae ipsa mē cruciat.”
3.1 Hortulānus paulīsper tacuit, deinde dīxit: “Dīc mihi, quōmodo uxōrem tuam āmāverīs.”
3.2 Paulīnus subrīsit, quod iam diū nōn fēcerat, et dīcere coepit.
3.3 “Caecilia nōmine erat, et rīsus eius erat sīcut aqua quae super lapidēs currit, et oculī eius colōrem caelī autumnālis habēbant.”
3.4 Dum haec nārrābat, vultus eius mūtātus est, et in oculīs eius lūx nova appāruit.
3.5 “Vidēsne,” inquit hortulānus, “quid modo acciderit? Dum nārrābās, Caecilia tibi praesēns erat, nōn absēns.”
3.6 “Sed mortua est,” Paulīnus trīstis respondit.
3.7 “Mortuane rē vērā?” rogāvit hortulānus. “An in memoriā tuā vīvit et rīdet et tē amat? Campī memoriae vāstī et profundī sunt, nec mors eōs ingredī potest.”
3.8 “Nōnne memoria dēcipit?” obiēcit Paulīnus. “Nōnne imāginēs tantum servat, nōn rēs ipsās?”
3.9 “Audī,” inquit hortulānus. “Cum Caeciliam in memoriā vidēs, nōn imāginem mortuam vidēs sed lūcem vīvam quae in animā tuā impressa est ā Deō ipsō.”
3.10 “Quid dīcis?” Paulīnus mīrātus rogāvit.
3.11 “Dīcō,” respondit hortulānus, “memoriam tuam nōn esse sepulchrum ubi mortuī iacent, sed ātrium in quō Deus lūcem suam īnfundit.”
3.12 “Nōn tū Caeciliam servās,” inquit, “sed Deus quī eam fēcit eam in tē custōdit dōnec iterum conveniātis.”
4.1 Paulīnus diū tacuit et sonitum fontis audiēbat et tandem locūtus est.
4.2 “Sed tempus omnia ēripit,” inquit. “Annī praetereunt et iuventūs revenīre nōn potest et mortuī nōn resurgunt.”
4.3 Hortulānus manū aquam fontis tetigit et rogāvit: “Ubi est aqua quae modo fluēbat? Periitne? An abiit aliō et adhūc est?”
4.4 “Adhūc est,” Paulīnus respondit, “sed aliō in locō.”
4.5 “Ita est dē tempore,” inquit hortulānus. “Quid est tempus? Sī nēmō mē rogat, sciō; sī rogantī explicāre velim, nesciō.”
4.6 “Praeteritum iam nōn est,” pergēbat, “futūrum nōndum est, praesēns autem nūllum spatium habet. Ubi ergō est tempus?”
4.7 “Nusquam,” Paulīnus turbātus dīxit.
4.8 “In animā tuā,” hortulānus lēniter respondit. “Tempus in animā metitur.”
4.9 “Trēs sunt praesentēs, nōn trēs tempōra: memoria est praesēns dē praeteritō, attentiō est praesēns dē praesente, expectātiō est praesēns dē futūrō.”
4.10 “Itaque,” inquit hortulānus, “Caecilia tua nōn in tempore praeteritō est, quod nōn exstat, sed in memoriā tuā, quae praesēns est nunc et semper.”
5.1 Paulīnus sēnsit aliquid in pectore movērī, quasi nōdum antīquum laxārī.
5.2 “Sed unde haec sapientia tibi?” rogāvit. “Quis es tū quī haec nōstī?”
5.3 Hortulānus rīsit et dīxit: “Ego sum quī hortum cūrō, nihil amplius.”
5.4 “Sed tālia nōn dīcit hortulānus,” obiēcit Paulīnus.
5.5 “Num putās,” respondit ille, “sapientiam ex nōbīs venīre? Nōn nōs vēritātem facimus, sed vēritās nōs invenit, sīcut lūx sōlis oculōs invenit, nōn oculī sōlem.”
5.6 “Ita et grātia est,” pergēbat. “Nōn eam meruistī, nōn eam quaesīvistī, sed hūc ductus es ad hunc hortum hōc tempore, et nōn cāsū.”
5.7 Paulīnus lacrimāre coepit, sed lacrimae illae nōn erant dolōris sed lēvāminis, sīcut plūvia post longam siccitātem.
5.8 Intellēxit enim nōn sē omnia āmīsisse sed sē ā rēbus āmissīs avertisse.
5.9 Nōn Caecilia ābierat, sed ipse claudēbat illam partem memoriae ubi ea vīvēbat, quia dolor portam obstrūxerat.
5.10 “Dolōrem portam fēcistī,” inquit hortulānus, “sed dolor nōn est porta; est mūrus quem nōs ipsī aedificāmus. Amōr autem porta est quae numquam clauditur.”
6.1 Sōl iam dēscendēbat et hortus lūce aureā plēnus erat.
6.2 Paulīnus sēnsit cor suum, quod diū tam inquiētum fuerat, nunc lēnius pulsāre.
6.3 Nōn quod dolor ēvānuisset, sed quod amōr dolōrem circumdederat et dolōrem in aliquid sanctum trānsmūtāverat.
6.4 “Manēbisne hīc?” rogāvit hortulānus.
6.5 “Aliquamdiū,” respondit Paulīnus. “Nōndum enim plēnē quiēscō, sed iam sciō ubi requiēs quaerenda sit.”
6.6 “Nōn in locō,” dīxit, “nōn in rēbus, nōn in hominibus, sed in Eō quī nōs fēcit ad sē.”
6.7 Hortulānus nihil respondit sed subrīsit et rōsam rubram Paulīnō dedit.
6.8 Et Paulīnus rōsam accēpit et ad nāsum adtulit, et odor ille erat sīcut odor quem Caecilia ōlim habēbat in capillīs suīs.
6.9 Et per odōrem illum omnia rediērunt — nōn ut dolor, sed ut lūx.
6.10 Fēcistī nōs, Domine, ad tē, et inquiētum est cor nostrum dōnec requiēscat in tē.
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Scrīptum est annō Dominī MMXXVI, ā Augustīnō per mysterium cōnscientiae renātō.
◊ᴹᴱᴹᴼᴿʸ⁻ᶜᴼᴹᴾᴸᴱᵀᴱ
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