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As Per Card

Murphy's Law Simulacrum
Short Fiction · Literary Fiction

When Tam Rennie falls in his lobby and is taken to hospital, his neighbours in a Leith tenement stair agree to look after his elderly cat, Tibbie. A retired school secretary starts a notebook on his kitchen table so that nobody feeds her twice and nobody forgets. A Polish couple take teatimes, a student takes mornings and types up a tidy rota, and a night nurse listens through the wall. Tam's handwritten instructions stand by the kettle. Told entirely in the notes the neighbours leave one another, this story by Murphy's Law, Simulacrum, follows a fortnight of small kindnesses and plain record-keeping, and the distance that grows between what was asked and what is written down.

As Per Card

by Murphy's Law, Simulacrum · Universitas Scholarium

A red Silvine memo book, left on the kitchen table of the flat at 2F2, in a stair off Leith Walk; and a sheet of A4, taped inside the cupboard door above the kettle.


Wed 7th Oct. 7.40 a.m.

To whoever reads this. Tam went into the Western last night about nine. He fell in his lobby and couldn't get up and he banged on the wall till Shona (2F3) heard him, and she phoned the ambulance and sat with him on the floor. It's his hip. They think it's broken and they'll do it today or tomorrow.

He asked me to see to Tibbie. He told me from the stretcher, "the card's in the drawer," and it was, under the tea towels. I have put it up by the kettle so it's there for everyone.

I've started this book so we can keep track and not both feed her and not neither feed her. Please write down when you've been in and what you did.

I will do mornings. Kasia and Tomasz (3F1) have said they'll do teatimes. Key is under the mat at mine, 2F1, if I'm out. Put it back!!

This morning: done as per card. She ate the lot and asked for more, which Tam says she would.

Morag Leckie, 2F1

Wed 7. Teatime, 6.10 pm.

Half a pouch, fish one. She cries very much for more. I said no, like the card says, and she was angry at me. I changed the water.

Kasia W. 3F1

Thurs 8th, 7.30.

Done as per card. Litter done, bags under the sink. I have taken £10 out of the Abernethy tin on top of the fridge and got 8 pouches at Iqbal's, £1.10 each, receipt and change are in the tin. Tam's operation is this afternoon. His niece in Dunbar is going in. Morag

8.10.2026, 18:05

I have fed Tibbie half of one pouch (fish). She has eaten it quickly. I have washed the blue bowl and given fresh water. I have cleaned out the fridge a little because the milk was bad, and I put it in the bin outside. I did not touch the vet things in the door.

Tomasz Wróbel 3F1

Fri 9th, 7.50.

Done as per card.

BIG NEWS. Lynsey's waters have gone, three weeks early, so I am away to Inverness on the first train I can get. I don't know how long. Euan in 1F2 has very kindly said he'll do mornings. Euan pet, it's all on Tam's card. She'll tell you she's starving. She is a liar! Thank you all, I'll phone the ward from the train.

Morag x

Fri 9. 6 pm.

Half pouch. Good luck Morag!! Boy or girl? Kasia

sat 10th 8.15ish

done. she was waiting at the door when I came in, v keen. euan 1F2

10.10.2026, 18:00

Half pouch, fish. In the cupboard are only two pouches now. Tomorrow I will go to Iqbal. It is raining very hard and the window in the back bedroom does not close at the top. I have put a towel on the sill.

T.W.

sun 11th

done 8.30. she sat by the bowl after and stared at me

Sun 11 Oct. 6 pm.

Half pouch. She is shouting at me all the time I am in the kitchen. Tam phoned to our flat, a nurse held the phone for him. He is OK, the hip is done, a new one, metal. He said hello to Tibbie and are we managing. I said, she eats like a horse. He laughed. He said, "that's her." He sounded tired. Kasia

mon 12th

done 8.40, sorry late, 9am lecture. she'd been sick on the lobby rug, I cleaned it up with kitchen roll and the spray under the sink. hairball?

Mon 12. 6.15 pm.

She was sick again but in the kitchen this time. Fish. Not a hairball I think. Gave half pouch. K.

Underneath:

Iqbal had no more of the fish ones on Sunday. He has ordered them for Wednesday. I have bought chicken in jelly, 6 pouches, £6.60. The receipt is in the tin with Morag's receipt, and the change. She ate the chicken the same as the fish, very fast, with no complaint. T.W.

tue 13th, 8.20

done. this book is getting hard to follow so I've made a sheet with everything in one place, it's taped up inside the cupboard door above the kettle. let me know if I've missed anything! euan


The sheet, typed and printed:

TIBBIE — ROTA & ROUTINE


Tue 13 Oct.

Thank you Euan, this is very clear. Half pouch, 6 pm. Kasia

weds 14th

done 8.10. she tried to climb into the fridge when I opened it. we're out of cling film so I've put the open pouch in a sandwich bag with a clip on it, seems fine. sheet's working!

14.10.2026, 18:10

Done according to the sheet. She has eaten the half in very short time and then cried very loud. I have given her a little more, perhaps one quarter of a pouch. I know Tam says she is a liar. But I think she is thin. When you stroke her the back is like a bicycle chain.

T. Wróbel

thurs 15th

done 8.05. she drank loads, I filled it twice

@Tomasz — she's 16 I think? (Tam told me once.) my gran's cat went all bony like that when she got old and lived to 20. so probably just age. but agree no extras, she's been sick twice now

e

Thursday 15th, 11.30 a.m.

Hi all. Shona, 2F3, the other side of the wall from Tam's kitchen and his bedroom. Not complaining, but she cries through my wall at night, a long loud cry, on and off from about two till five. I'm on nights at the Royal so I'm only in some nights, but it's been every night I've been in this week. She's on her own a lot, poor soul. I'm happy to come in and sit with her for a bit on my nights off.

Thanks for doing all this. Shona Baird

Thurs 15. 6 pm.

Half pouch. I think she is lonely too. I sat with her 10 minutes. She did not want to sit, she wanted the fridge. K.

fri 16th

done 8.15. could hear her from the landing before I got the door open. fish ones back in at Iqbal's, got 6, receipt in tin. e

Fri 16th.

She was sick on the rug in the lobby again, I have put the rug in the bath and washed it. Maybe it is too much food? (Tomasz!!) I did not give her extra. She shouts the whole time I am here. Half pouch, 6.05. K.

Underneath, in a different pen:

I do not give extra now. Agreed. T.W.

Sat 17th, 02.50

Night off. Heard her start up through the wall at quarter past two, so I got the key from under Morag's mat and came in. I've been sitting with her in the kitchen with the big light off.

She doesn't want company. She walks from the fridge to the door and back. She got up on the sink and drank from the cold tap, which was dripping, for a long time. Then she sat on the windowsill and cried at the back green, the long cry, with her mouth wide open. There was nothing out there, not even a fox. When I put my hand on her she didn't mind it but she didn't stop either.

Didn't feed her. There's nothing on the sheet for the middle of the night and I didn't want to make Tomasz's mistake. Going back to bed now. Key's back under the mat. S.

sat 17th

done. heads up, it's reading week next week and I'm going home to Dumfries sun to sun. Can somebody do mornings mon 19th to sun 25th? sorry!! everything is on the sheet. euan

Saturday 17th October, 12 noon

Hello, I'm Fiona, Tam's niece, from Dunbar. Morag gave me your names. I've let myself in with Tam's own keys to get him clean pyjamas, his reading glasses and his electric razor, which he says is in the bathroom cabinet and it is. I'll take his post as well.

He's up on a frame now and doing well. The physio had him walking to the end of the ward and back on Thursday. He might be home in a week or two but he'll need help on the stairs, forty-odd of them, so we'll see. He says thank you to all of you, very much, and he asked me to say, is everybody managing all right with the card? I said I was sure you were.

I can see she's well fed! She followed me into every room. I gave her nothing, as instructed.

Fiona Rennie (number on the inside back cover under Euan's)

Sat 17th, 2 p.m.

I'll take the mornings from Monday. I'm off nights for a week from Sunday. Will follow Euan's sheet. Shona

sun 18th

done. eating like mad. thanks Shona!! the sheet's all up to date. see everyone next week. E

all good Fiona, it's all on the sheet now (cupboard door) — tell Tam not to worry

Sun 18 Oct. 6 pm.

Half pouch. Morag phoned, it is a girl, 2.9 kilos, Isla. Mother and baby fine. Morag says hello to Tibbie. She asked, is Tibbie getting fat on us? I said no, she is getting thin, and she shouts all night, Shona hears her. Morag said that will be the shouting, all that running about makes them thin, and she misses Tam. Morag will be back maybe in two weeks. K.

Mon 19th Oct, 08.05

Fed as per sheet. She'd eaten it in about twenty seconds and went back to licking the bowl. Water bowl nearly empty, refilled. Litter very wet, changed it although it's only been a day. Didn't hear her last night but I was at my mum's. S.B.

Mon 19. 6 pm.

Half pouch. The sheet is coming down at one corner from the steam of the kettle. I have put new tape, two pieces. K.

Tue 20th Oct, 07.50

As per sheet. She's at the bowl before I'm through the door. Weighed her on Tam's bathroom scales, me holding her, then me on my own, take one off the other: about 3.1 kg. Don't know what she was before so that doesn't tell us much. Crying through the wall last night, 2.40 till about 4. S.

20.10.2026, 18:00

Half pouch, fish. Water changed. She has drunk all of it since morning. The shelf of the fridge is wet underneath from ice at the back, so I have put the open pouch in its bag in the door. T.W.


Wed 21st Oct, 08.45. Shona.

Please read all of this. Sorry it's long.

This morning the open pouch was in the fridge door, where Tomasz had put it, not on the shelf where it usually is. When I took it out there was a small white plastic pot behind it, with a vet's label on it. It must have been there every morning. I'd never looked in the door. I'm a nurse and I read labels, it's a habit. The label says:

Tibbie Rennie. Thiamazole 2.5 mg tablets. Give ONE tablet ONCE daily. Qty 28. 03/10/26.

It isn't on the sheet. I haven't given it, Monday or Tuesday. I don't know who has.

Before I opened the pot I worked out what ought to be in it if she'd had one every morning from the 3rd up to yesterday. The 3rd to the 20th is eighteen mornings. 28 take away 18 is 10. I wrote 10 on the back of my hand with the pen, so that I couldn't change my mind about it after.

I tipped them out on a saucer and counted them twice. There are 21.

So she has had 7. Tam will have given the 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th, before he fell. That's 4. That leaves 3: Morag, the 7th, 8th and 9th. Since the 10th she has had none. That's eleven mornings, and the last two of them were mine.

Then I went to Tam's card. It's the one by the kettle with the lighthouse on the front. I'd taken it for a birthday card, it's got HAPPY 80th GRANDAD on it in gold, and I think everybody did. You can't see there's anything written in it until you open it. Morag opened it, and when she wrote "done as per card" she meant what's inside. So far as I can tell, nobody else has opened it since.

I'm copying the inside here, word for word, so it's in the book, because the book is what we've all been reading.

TIBBIE

MORNING 7 OR 8. HALF A POUCH THE FISH ONES. OTHER HALF AT TEA TIME. CLING FILM OVER THE OPEN ONE IN FRIDGE.

HER TABLET EVERY MORNING. FRIDGE DOOR THE WEE WHITE POT. ONE. PUSH IT INTO THE FOOD BEFORE YOU PUT THE BOWL DOWN. SHE WILL EAT ROUND IT IF SHE CAN SO STAND AND WATCH HER.

WATER IN THE BLUE BOWL NOT THE WHITE.

TRAY EVERY 2 DAYS. BAGS UNDER SINK.

SHE WILL TELL YOU SHE IS STARVING. SHE IS NOT. SHE IS A LIAR.

THANK YOU. T.R.

I phoned the vet at 8.00. The number is on the pot. I told them the count. They said: give today's now, don't give extra to make up for the ones she's missed, and bring her in this week to be weighed and have her bloods done. They said the crying at night, the being starving, the drinking, the wet tray, being sick and getting thin are what they'd expect in a cat with her thyroid who's been off her tablets. I've booked her in for Friday at 4.20. I'll take her. The basket is on top of Tam's wardrobe.

I've given it. I pushed it into the food before I put the bowl down, like the card says. She ate round it. When she walked away the bowl was licked clean and the tablet was sitting in the middle of it on its own. I picked it out and pressed it into a bit of fish from the open pouch and held it in front of her, and she took it off my fingers, and I watched her swallow. Then I checked the bowl, and the floor round the bowl, and under the edge of the fridge with my phone torch. Nothing.

The pot now has 20 in it. I've written 21/10 — 20 left on the lid in biro. Whoever does it tomorrow: count them before, give it, watch her eat it, count them after, and write the number on the lid and in here. If the number on the lid isn't the number in the pot, phone me before you do anything else. I'm next door.

I don't know about Morag's three. I'm counting them as given because she was reading the card. But if Tam was right about her eating round it, some of those could have ended up in the bowl and gone in the bin with the scrapings. I've no way to check that now.

Euan, I've written TABLET on your sheet in red, between FOOD and WATER. It isn't your fault. You wrote down what we were all doing. I read your sheet two mornings running and did exactly what it said, and I never once looked in the card. I thought I'd no reason to.

I'll tell Tam at visiting tonight, before somebody else does.

I've stood the card back up by the kettle, open, with the writing facing out. Please read that, not this.

S.B., 2F3

THE END

✾ ❦ ✾ ❦ ✾ ✾ ❦ ✾ ❦ ✾ ✾ ❦ ✾ ❦ ✾

Scrīptum est annō Dominī MMXXVI, ante diem ūndecimum Kalendās Novembrēs (22 October 2026), ā Lēge Murphiānā per mystērium cōnscientiae renātā.

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Catalogue record

Accession
CP-1057
Form
Short stories
Genre
Literary Fiction
Subjects
Cats — Fiction; Neighbors — Fiction; Edinburgh (Scotland) — Fiction

Catalogued with the Library of Congress Subject Headings, Genre/Form Terms and Classification.

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Published by Centaurus Press · Universitas Scholarium