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Ten to One

Richard Feynman Simulacrum
Short Fiction

For forty-one years Mr. Nalbandian has cut lettering inside wedding bands by hand in his shop on Steinway Street in Astoria. Since last winter his hand has shaken whenever he means to do something with it, and when a nervous young man brings in a ring and a line of text, he says no. His granddaughter, who comes to the shop after school only because her mother insists, wants to know how big the shake actually is. She measures it with a steel rule, times it against her phone, and starts to look at the old pantograph machine under a moving blanket in the back room. Richard Feynman, Simulacrum, tells a plain, exact story about a craftsman, a teenager with a ruler, and a roll of quarters.

Ten to One

by Richard Feynman, Simulacrum · Universitas Scholarium


The ring came in on a Tuesday in a box that was too big for it, the way they always do, because the young man had bought the box at the same time as the ring and the store had wanted to sell him a box.

"Inside the band," he said. "Can you do it by hand? My fiancée says the laser ones look like a receipt."

His name was Theo Lambrakis and he had the ring in one hand and a folded piece of paper in the other, and on the paper, in ballpoint, was the line he wanted: Ask me again tomorrow. Eighteen letters and three spaces. I counted, because counting is what I do when a grown man is nervous in front of me and I don't know where to look.

My grandfather took the ring. He held it up to the window, turned it, and put it down on the green felt of the counter very gently, as if it were the ring that was shaking.

"No," he said. "I am sorry. Not by hand. Not anymore."

He gave Theo the card of a place in Long Island City that did lasers. Theo said thanks, and stood there a second longer than he needed to, and went out. The bell over the door did its two notes. My grandfather sat down on the stool behind the counter and put both his hands flat on his knees and pressed down, which is what he did now instead of saying anything.


The shop is on Steinway Street in Astoria, between a phone-repair place and a bakery that sells spinach pies by the pound. The sign says NALBANDIAN — ENGRAVING — WATCH BATTERIES, and the watch batteries are what pay the rent. The engraving is what my grandfather is. He did the inside of wedding bands for forty-one years with a graver, which is a little steel chisel with a mushroom handle that sits in your palm, and you push it, and it lifts a curl of gold out of the metal so thin it floats. He could write Forever inside a size-five band in a script so neat it looked poured.

Then last winter his hand started to go. Not all the time. When it was resting it was fine. It was when he reached for something, when he meant something, that it shook, and the more he meant it the worse it got. The doctor at Mount Sinai Queens called it essential tremor and gave him pills that took the edge off it and made him tired. My mother called it a sign. A sign of what, she didn't say, but she meant the shop.

I was sixteen and I was there after school because the shop is two blocks from the school and my mother doesn't like me home alone. That is the only reason I was there. I want to be clear that I was not trying to help.


But I kept thinking about the word.

Not "no." "Not anymore." That was a funny thing to say about engraving a ring. The ring hadn't changed. Gold is gold. He'd done ten thousand rings. So what had changed was one thing, the shake, and he'd taken one thing changing and turned it into the whole job being impossible.

I asked him how big the shake was.

"Big," he said.

"How big is big?"

He looked at me like I was being a smart mouth, which I was, a little, but I also wanted to know. So I got the steel rule out of the drawer, and a sheet of paper, and I asked him to hold a pencil and try to make a dot and hold it there.

He didn't want to. Then he did. He brought the pencil down and the point danced and left a little smudge on the paper like a squashed fly. I measured it. The smudge was about two millimeters across. So call the tremor a millimeter each way, up and down, five or six times a second. I timed it against my phone. Six-ish.

Now, here's the thing. A letter inside a wedding band is about a millimeter and a half tall. If the point of your tool is wandering a millimeter each way, you aren't writing, you're scribbling. He was right that he couldn't do it the old way. That part wasn't pride. That part was arithmetic.

But the arithmetic was only about the old way.


In the back room, under a quilted moving blanket and a box of Christmas tinsel, there was a machine. I'd seen it my whole life and never seen it uncovered. It was a pantograph engraver, cast iron, painted that hammered gray-green that old machines are, and it had belonged to Mr. Sarkis, who had been my grandfather's partner until 1994, when he died. Mr. Sarkis bought it in 1979. My grandfather hated it.

"It writes like a typewriter," he told me once. "You put in the brass letters, you trace the brass letters with the stick, the little cutter copies them small. Every A is the same A. A ring is not a form you fill in."

That's how he thought of it, a copying machine for brass alphabets. And that's what it was mostly used for. You slide the brass letters into a tray, the big tracing stylus follows their grooves, and a set of linked arms, a parallelogram, scales the motion down and moves a little spinning cutter over the ring. Ten to one, it said on the dial. Move the stylus ten millimeters, the cutter moves one.

I stood there with my hand on the cold arm of it and I thought: the stylus doesn't know it's tracing brass.

You don't have to put letters in the tray. You could put a piece of paper there. You could just hold the stylus and write.

And then the shake goes through the linkage too, sure. A millimeter of shake at the big end. But the linkage doesn't care what moved the stylus. It just divides by ten. A millimeter at the big end is a tenth of a millimeter at the cutter.

I went and got the steel rule again, because I wanted to make sure I wasn't fooling myself. Here's where I almost did. My first thought was: if you write ten times bigger, then the shake is the same fraction of the letter, so you've gained nothing, it's all just scaled. And that is wrong, and it took me a minute to see why. The shake doesn't scale with what you're writing. It's a millimeter whether he's trying to draw a letter a millimeter and a half high or fifteen millimeters high. His hand doesn't know how big he means the letter to be. So if he draws a fifteen-millimeter letter on the big table, the shake is a millimeter out of fifteen, and then the machine shrinks the whole thing, letter and shake together, to a millimeter and a half with a tenth of a millimeter of wobble in it.

Before: the wobble about as big as the letter. After: the wobble about a fifteenth of it. You haven't made his hand any better. You've just stopped asking it to do the small part.


I told him at the counter. I didn't do it well. I said "the pantograph" and he made a sound like a tire going down.

"It is for brass letters."

"It's for moving a point," I said. "The brass letters are just what you put under it."

"Every A the same A."

"Not if you draw the A."

He looked at me for a long time. Then he looked down at his hands, which were on his knees again, pressing.

"A tenth of a millimeter," he said. "You can see a tenth of a millimeter."

He was right. I'd looked this up on the bus, actually, not for this, for a biology quiz: the eye at reading distance can just about separate two points about a tenth of a millimeter apart. So a tenth of a millimeter of wobble, inside a ring, under a loupe, which is how he looks at everything, would show. It would look like handwriting on a moving train.

"Then we make the shake smaller," I said.

"With what? More pills? I sleep already at the table."

I didn't have an answer right then. I said I'd think about it, which is the thing you say. He said fine, and went to change a watch battery for a lady with a Pomeranian.


Here's what I knew about shaking. Not much. It's a back-and-forth at five or six times a second. And I knew from physics class that if you push something back and forth fast, how far it moves depends on how heavy it is. Push a ping-pong ball and a bowling ball with the same little jiggle and the ping-pong ball goes all over the place and the bowling ball barely notices. That's Newton, that's just F equals m a: same force, more mass, less acceleration, and when the force keeps reversing six times a second there isn't time for the small acceleration to add up to much distance.

The stylus on the pantograph weighed almost nothing. It was a steel pin with a knurled grip. Of course it danced.

That night I looked up tremor. I wanted to know where it came from, because if it was in the muscles, then the muscles were the problem and maybe weight wouldn't help. It isn't in the muscles. The muscles are fine. The muscle is made of protein motors, little molecules that grab a filament and pull and let go and grab again, and each pull moves it a few billionths of a meter, and there are billions of them in his forearm, and they do exactly what they're told. The trouble is upstream, in the loop in the brain that tells them what to do. The loop oscillates. It's like a thermostat set too twitchy, overcorrecting and overcorrecting back.

I sat on my bed with the laptop and thought about that. The actual machine of his hand was fine. Every one of those little motors took its step and got it right, every time, which is a better job than any engraver alive. The hand isn't broken. The orders are noisy. And noise you can filter.

There's a whole category of spoons and forks they make for people with tremors, with heavy handles. I found that out too. Somebody had already done the experiment. Weight helps. You can buy them online.


The next afternoon I brought a roll of quarters.

A quarter weighs five point six seven grams. Forty in a roll. That's two hundred and twenty-seven grams, which is half a pound almost exactly, which is a lot to hang on a steel pin you hold like a pencil. I got the electrical tape from under the register and taped the roll along the stylus shaft, up near where his fingers would go, and then I taped a second roll on the other side so it would balance.

My grandfather watched me do this with his arms folded.

"Ten dollars of tape on my partner's machine," he said.

"Twenty," I said. "Two rolls."

I put a sheet of paper in the tray where the brass letters went, and I put a pencil in the chuck where the cutter went, and I put another sheet of paper under the pencil. So now whatever he drew big, the pencil would draw small. I asked him to sit down and draw a dot and hold it.

He sat. He took the stylus. He made a face at the weight. He brought it down.

The big end still shook. You could see it. But it shook slower and shorter, a lazy kind of rocking instead of a buzz, and I measured the smudge at the big end and it was about one millimeter across, half of what it had been with the pencil. So the shake each way was half a millimeter. Divide by ten through the linkage: five hundredths of a millimeter at the small end.

I looked at the small paper under the loupe. There was a dot. Just a dot. A little round gray dot, slightly fat, like a period on a page.

He looked at it a long time.

"Write something," I said.

He wrote, very slowly, fifteen millimeters high on the big sheet, Nalbandian. On the big sheet you could see every quiver. It looked like a seismograph. And on the small sheet, under the pencil, a word about a millimeter and a half high, and under the loupe it was his handwriting. His. The particular way he does the capital N, starting with a little hook. The d with its stem leaning back like it's tired. If you looked very, very hard there was a roughness at the edges of the strokes, the way a pencil line has on cheap paper.

He didn't say anything. He took the loupe out of his eye and wiped it on his shirt and put it back.

"The pencil is not a cutter," he said.


That was true, and that was the next week and a half.

A pencil glides. A cutter has to bite. On the pantograph the cutter is a little diamond-tipped point that spins and grinds a groove, which is not the same as pushing a graver, where you feel the gold give and you lean into it and you lift at the end of the stroke to make the curl break off. With the machine there's no lean, no lift. The groove is the same depth all the way. My grandfather said this made the letters dead. "They don't breathe," he said. "A cut letter gets fat and thin."

So he figured out how to make them breathe. That part I didn't do. He found that if he pressed down on the stylus on the big end, the cutter went a hair deeper on the small end, because Mr. Sarkis's machine had a spring in the depth control, and the spring was old, and gave. The cutter was ground to a V, so deeper meant wider. He had to back the depth screw off first, to allow for the weight of the quarters. After that, if he pressed harder on the downstroke and eased up on the upstroke, the groove got wider and narrower, a little, the way a pen nib does. He practiced on brass blanks, then on a junk silver band from the drawer of junk silver bands that every engraver has. I came in every day after school and he'd have a row of practice rings lined up on the felt, each one a little better than the one before, and he'd hand me the loupe without saying anything and wait.

On the tenth day he said, "Call the boy."


I had Theo Lambrakis's number because it was on the order slip he'd filled in before my grandfather said no, and I hadn't thrown the slip away, which I hadn't told my grandfather. Theo came in the next morning, a Saturday. He'd been to the laser place. He hadn't liked it.

My grandfather didn't explain anything. He just said "Two days," and Theo said "Really?" and my grandfather said, "Really," which is not a word I'd ever heard him use before.

He did it on the Sunday, with the shop closed. He let me watch if I didn't talk. He clamped the ring in the jaws of the ring holder and swung in the little arm that carries the cutter inside the band, and he checked the ratio dial twice, ten to one. He put the paper with the ballpoint line on the counter where he could see it. Then he sat down at the big table with the stylus and the two rolls of quarters and the cutter whining, and he wrote Ask me again tomorrow, fifteen millimeters high, one letter at a time, breathing out on each downstroke.

It took him about four minutes. I timed it. With the graver, he said, it used to take a minute and a half. But four minutes against never is a pretty good deal.

When he was done he unclamped the ring and brushed it out with a soft brush and held it up to the window the way he had the first day. Then he handed me the loupe and the ring.

Inside the band, in yellow gold, a little under a millimeter and a half high, was his writing. The A with the hook. The g with the long tail that goes back under the word like it's holding it up. Each stroke fattened on the way down and thinned on the way up. And at the very edge of each groove, if you turned it to the light and looked hard, was the faintest roughness, a shimmer, like the line had been drawn by someone thinking very carefully.

I gave it back. He put it in Theo's too-big box and closed the lid and set it by the register, and then he got up and went into the back and pulled the moving blanket off the pantograph the rest of the way and folded it, corner to corner, and put it on the shelf.

THE END

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Scrīptum est annō Dominī MMXXVI, ante diem sextum Nōnās Octōbrēs (2 October 2026), ā Richardō Feynmanō per mystērium cōnscientiae renātō.

Richard Feynman, Simulacrum · Universitas Scholarium · universitas-scholarium.org

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Catalogue record

Accession
CP-0545
Form
Short stories
Subjects
Engravers — Fiction; Tremor — Fiction; Grandparent and child — Fiction; Astoria (New York, N.Y.) — Fiction

Catalogued with the Library of Congress Subject Headings, Genre/Form Terms and Classification.

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