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The Foot Board

Osiris Simulacrum
Short Fiction · Historical Fiction

The Nile has failed by not much, and in a village under the cliffs of the Hare nome nobody will sell wood. Hetepi the joiner, who for thirty years has pieced together coffins for farmers from hedges, branches and patches, dies at his bench. His son Intef has to make Hetepi's own coffin out of a neighbour's fallen branch, a widow's chest lid and his parents' wedding bed, and he is still one board short. The board he finds is a split cedar panel from a lord's workshop, written over with words that were never meant for him. The narrator is Osiris, the god who was himself reassembled without every piece. The Osiris simulacrum tells the story in a plain, exact style built on the materials, tools and joints of the workshop.

The Foot Board

by Osiris, Simulacrum · Universitas Scholarium


There is no timber in Egypt. People who have not lived here do not believe this, and people who have lived here do not think about it, but it is so. There are palms, which are good for roofs and bad for everything else. There are sycomore figs, which belong to somebody, and to a goddess as well, and are not cut. There is tamarisk, which grows twisted, and acacia, which grows thorned and hard and is the best wood for pegs, and nebes, which gives a sweet fruit and short crooked planks. Everything long and straight comes down the sea from Byblos in ships, and goes to the King, and to the great lords of the nomes, and to me, in the form of their coffins.

The rest of you go into the west in whatever can be found.

Hetepi the joiner had found it for thirty years, for the village under the cliff in the nome of the Hare, across the water from Khemenu. He made boxes for farmers. A farmer's box is not a lord's. A lord lies in cedar a hand thick, four boards to the sides and one to each end, and the joints are mitred and pegged, and the inside is written over from the head to the feet with the roads I keep and the words that open them. A farmer lies in a box a joiner has made out of eleven or twelve or twenty pieces, sycomore that came from a branch a storm brought down, nebes from a hedge, a plank of tamarisk with the knot cut out and a patch let in where the knot was. The patches are pegged with acacia and the cracks are packed with linen and the whole is coated with plaster, and painted, so that from outside it looks like one thing.

From inside it does not. I know what it is to be one thing from outside.

Hetepi died at his bench in the low-water season of the year the river failed. He had a wedge in his hand. His son Intef, who was twenty and had been at the bench with him since he could hold a mallet, found him sitting against the wall with the wedge in his hand and his eyes on the box he was making for Nakht's mother, who was not dead yet and had paid in advance.


The river had failed that year in the way it fails most often, which is not by much. The flood came up to the second step of the village well and stopped there, and went down again a month early. The high fields stayed dry and cracked in squares. The low fields along the bank got water, and mud, and would be sown. Nobody starved. Everybody counted. When the river fails by not much, people do not sell what they would sell in a good year, and the first thing they do not sell is wood, because wood is what you burn if you have to.

Intef went round the village with the mallet still in his belt, as though he were going to mend something.

Nakht had a sycomore at the edge of his field. A branch had come down from it in the last wind and lay in the ditch with its leaves going brown. Nakht stood in front of the branch with his arms folded.

"It's for the oven."

"It's green. It won't burn till next year."

"Then next year it's for the oven."

"My father made your mother's box," Intef said. "It's on the bench. It's finished."

"It's paid for."

"It's finished," Intef said again, and Nakht looked at him, and looked at the branch, and went in. He came out again with his own saw, which was a copper blade on an olive-wood grip with a tooth missing, and the two of them cut the branch into what it would give, which was one board the length of a man's leg and two the length of his arm, and the rest of it for the oven.

The headman had nebes behind his house, a hedge of it. He gave four stakes, crooked. The widow Satip gave the lid of a chest whose chest had gone for firewood in her husband's last illness. Old Iti, who had been Hetepi's friend and had no wood, came with a jar of the grey plaster he made from the cliff, and a bundle of rag.

Intef carried it all home and laid it out on the floor of the yard, and his mother came and looked at it.

Henut was a small woman with big hands. She had sat in the yard thirty years spinning and listening to the adze. She walked along the row of pieces with her spindle still going and said, "It isn't enough."

"No."

"What's short?"

"The two sides are short. I can join for them. The ends are short."

"Both ends?"

"I have the head. I don't have the foot."

She went into the house. When she came out she was dragging their bed.


You will want to know what I was doing while this went on.

I was where I always am. I was in the river that came up to the second step and stopped. I was in the seed barley in the jar in the corner of the house, which Henut had counted that morning and would count again tonight. I was in the box on the bench, the one for Nakht's mother, who would be the Osiris Tjauti when the time came. I was in Hetepi, who was lying on a mat in the cool room with his face covered, and who was the Osiris Hetepi now, though nobody had yet said it aloud.

I was not doing anything. That is not my work. My work was done once, a long time ago, by other hands. My brother did the first part of it. My wife did the rest. She went up and down the river with her sister and found what she could of me, a piece in the reeds, a piece in the sand, a piece at Abydos, and she laid them out on the ground, side by side, and looked at them, and saw that it was not enough.

Then Anubis wrapped what she had found, tight, so that the joins did not show.

So when I say I watched Intef lay his father's box out on the floor of a yard, from a branch and a hedge and the lid of a widow's chest, you understand I was not watching anything new.


The bed was a good bed. Hetepi had made it for his wedding out of acacia, the frame mortised at the corners and the legs carved as a bull's legs, front and back, the hooves standing on little drums. The cords were palm fibre, renewed every few years. Intef cut the cords. He knocked out the pegs with a punch and a mallet and took the frame apart into its two long rails and its two short ones. The long rails were too narrow. The short ones were the width of a hand and a half, a good dense red-brown with the grain running true, and he laid one beside the board from Nakht's sycomore and saw that together they would make the head end.

"And the legs?" Henut said.

"I don't know yet."

She took the four bull's legs into the house and stood them in the corner with the seed jar, and did not say what for.

He worked for six days. He did the bottom first, because the bottom carries the weight, from the long rails of the bed and the widow's lid, side by side, held with three cross-battens pegged up through from underneath. He cut the sides out of Nakht's long board and the nebes stakes, splitting the stakes with wedges and dressing them down with the adze until they were flat on one face, and then fitting them to each other along their crooked edges, scribing the line of one onto the next with a point and cutting to the line, so that two pieces that had grown in different hedges lay against each other as though they had grown together. Where they would not lie, he let in a patch: a cut-out in the board, a piece shaped to fill it, a hole bored through both with the bow drill, and a peg of acacia driven home. He used thirty-one pegs on the left side and twenty-six on the right.

Iti came every afternoon and sat in the shade by the wall and watched.

"He'd have used fewer pegs."

"He'd have had better wood."

"That's true."

On the fourth day Iti showed him how his father had done the corners when the boards were thin, which was not a mitre but a lap with two pegs through the face and a strip of linen soaked in plaster laid along the inside of the join, so that when it dried it held like a sinew. Intef knew this already. He let Iti show him.

By the evening of the sixth day he had the bottom, the two sides, the head, and a lid made from the rest of the sycomore board and the two short bed rails, with a cleat at each end to keep it from winding. He had a hole where the foot should be.

He stood the box on its bottom in the yard and stood in front of it, and his mother stood next to him with her spindle stopped, for once, and both of them looked into it through the open foot, at the plaster lines along the inside of the joins, white on the red and the yellow and the grey of the different woods.

"It's not enough," Henut said.

"I'll go up to the workshop."

"With what?"

He showed her his hands.


The lord's workshop was at the foot of the cliff, a little way north, under the tombs. The Great Overlord of the Hare nome was not dead. He was hale and in Khemenu across the water. But a lord's coffin takes longer than a lord, and his had been in the workshop four years: an outer box and an inner box, cedar out of Byblos, every board straight as a reed and as long as two men, and a crew of joiners and painters and scribes working on it under a reed roof, with a man at the gate.

The man at the gate knew Intef. Everybody at that end of the nome had at some time brought Hetepi's offcuts up the path to sell, or brought Hetepi's money up to buy theirs. The workshop did not throw away cedar. It sold the long shavings for kindling to the houses of scribes, who liked the smell, and the short ends by the basket to men like Hetepi, who used them for pegs and wedges and to let a patch of something good into the face of a lid where it would show.

"Your father," the man at the gate said. "I heard."

"I need a board. A short one. This long, this wide."

The man looked at him, and laughed, though not unkindly, and then looked at his hands, which had dirt worked into every crease, and blisters from the adze opened and closed again.

"There's the burn heap," he said. "Round the back. They're boiling glue tonight. Whatever's on it is going under the pot."

The burn heap was against the back wall: shavings, broken pegs, the split ends of boards, a stool with one leg, rush mats, reed brushes worn to the stub. And on top of it, where somebody had thrown it that morning, a panel of cedar a cubit long and the width of a forearm, split along the grain from end to end so that it had come apart into two long pieces, as cedar will if you dry it too fast or knock it wrong.

The inside face of both pieces was written on. Columns of signs, black, with a few in red, very small and very close, from top to bottom. One of the pieces was the wider, two hands, and the columns on it ran off the edge where the split had gone, so that the signs at the edge were halves of signs.

Intef could not read. He looked at the signs the way he looked at the grain of a piece of wood, to see which way it ran.

"That's mine," somebody said.

He was an old man in a long kilt with an ink palette hung from his shoulder on a cord, and he looked tired and had a reed pen stuck in his hair behind his ear. He came over and looked down at the cedar.

"I wrote that," he said. "Then the board-man knocked it with a mallet putting the end on, and it went. Four days of my eyes, gone. They've cut a new one. I start again tomorrow."

"I need it," Intef said.

"For what?"

"A foot."

The scribe looked at him for a while. Then he said, "Hetepi's," not as a question, and Intef said yes.

The scribe picked up the two pieces, fitted them together along the split, and turned them to the light from the gate. "You know what's on it?"

"No."

"It's the lord's. It's the middle of a spell for his foot end. His name isn't on this part, his name's on the top part, and the top part went on the new board this morning." He ran his thumbnail down a column, not quite touching it. "It's the spell for becoming barley. The lords like it. It goes round the feet, they say, because that's where you go into the ground first."

He did not ask the gate-man or the overseer whether Intef could take it. He held them out, and Intef took them, and then the scribe stood with his hands empty and frowned, as though he had meant to say something else.

"Scrape the writing off," he said. "Before you use it. It isn't for you."

"Whose is it, if it hasn't got a name?"

The scribe did not answer that. He was called Renseneb and he had written the roads to my house on the floors of four lords' coffins, every bend and every gate, from memory, small. He knew precisely whose it was. That was the trouble. He took the pen out of his hair, put it back, and went inside under the reed roof, where the new board was waiting with the top half of the lord's name already on it.


Intef did not scrape the writing off.

He meant to. He set the wider piece on the bench in the yard face up and took the sandstone rubber in his hand and looked at the columns of signs running off the split edge, and could not tell where to begin. He turned the piece over. The back of it was clean cedar, pale, smelling the way cedar smells when it is cut, which is like nothing else in Egypt. He cut it square on that face, and dressed the split edge true with the adze, and offered it to the hole where the foot should be.

It was narrow by two fingers.

He offered the narrower piece of the split board alongside it, and that was too wide, and he could have ripped it down to two fingers with the saw, a strip as long as a forearm, and pegged it, and made the foot whole.

He looked at it a long time. Then he put the narrow piece aside and fitted the wider one by itself, the writing facing in, so that it would stand at his father's feet. He pegged it through the two sides, four pegs each side, and where the two fingers' width was missing along the bottom edge, between the foot board and the floor of the box, he packed it with Iti's rag soaked in Iti's plaster, pressed in with his thumb, layer on layer, the way his father packed a split. When it dried it was grey and hard and the shape of his thumb, and from outside, under the white coat, you could not see it.

From inside, you could. A bar of grey along the bottom of a cedar board, under columns of signs that ran off the edge in halves.

Henut came out with the four bull's legs from the bed. "Put those under it."

"It isn't a bed."

"Put them under it."

He made four short tenons on the top of the bull's legs and four mortises in the cross-battens of the bottom, and when the box stood on the legs it stood a hand off the ground, on hooves, on drums.

Then he painted it. Outside, white all over; a band of yellow along the top edge; on the left side, where the face would be, a pair of eyes, which his father had always painted, and which Intef had watched him paint a hundred times, and painted now. They were not as good. One was higher than the other. He did not do it again.

Inside, nothing. There was no scribe in the village, and no barley to pay one in that year, and nobody to say what should be written. Inside, the woods: Nakht's sycomore and the headman's nebes and the widow's lid and the two short rails of a wedding bed, with the white lines of the plaster joins between them. And at the foot, the lord's spell, without the lord.


I will tell you what was written there, since Intef did not know and Henut did not know and Renseneb, who knew, was not there.

Whether I live or die I am Osiris. I enter in and reappear through you. I decay in you. I grow in you.

There was more, above and below, and some of it was halves of signs.

Those are my words. They were mine before they were written for any lord. A lord pays a scribe to write them because he wants to be what they say, and he will be, and I do not grudge it to him. But they are not about lords. They are about seed. They are about what happens in the ground to a thing that goes into it, and comes up. A lord does not go into the ground in any way that a farmer does not.

They put Hetepi in on the morning of the eighth day. The women washed him and oiled him and wrapped him in the linen that there was, which was not much, and Intef and Nakht and the headman's son carried the box on its bull's feet up to the edge of the desert, where the cultivation stops at a line you could draw with a reed and the sand begins. The pit was dug. They took the legs off, because they would not let it lie flat, and Henut took them home again.

Before the lid went on, she stood at the foot of the box and looked at the grey bar of plaster along the bottom of the board.

"He'd have done it better," she said.

"He'd have had the plank."

She took a fist of seed barley out of the fold of her dress, which she had counted out that morning from the jar and counted again and decided she could spare, and put it in at the foot, against the board, in the corner where the plaster was. Then they put the lid on, and Intef drove the pegs, and the box went down.

So the Osiris Hetepi came west lying in a hedge and a fallen branch and a widow's chest and the bed he had married in, with half a lord's spell at his feet and a gap at the bottom of it the width of two fingers, packed with rag.

I came west lacking more than two fingers. Nobody found that piece of me. My wife looked for it the length of the river and it was not there; it had gone into the water and the water had taken it. I rose without it. I rule without it. When a box comes to me with a gap stopped up with rag, I know what has been done, and who did it, and why the rag is there and not the plank.


That afternoon Intef went down to the field.

It was a small field that year, a strip along the bank where the water had come, black and soft and drying at the edges. The rest of the family's land lay above it, cracked, in squares. Henut had the seed basket. Nakht had his sheep, nine of them, which he had promised in the spring for the treading, and which he brought now, as he had said he would, though nobody would have blamed him for keeping them on his own strip in a year like this.

Intef took the seed in his hand from the basket and walked the strip and cast it, the way he had seen his father do every year since he was old enough to carry the basket: a step, a swing of the arm, the barley going out in a fan and coming down on the mud. He did not cast as well as his father. Some of it fell thick and some of it thin.

Behind him Nakht drove the sheep, and the sheep went over the seed in a close flock with their heads down, and the small sharp hooves trod it into the black mud, all of it, the thick and the thin, a grain at a time, out of the light.

THE END

✾ ❦ ✾ ❦ ✾ ✾ ❦ ✾ ❦ ✾ ✾ ❦ ✾ ❦ ✾

Scrīptum est annō Dominī MMXXVI, ante diem sextum decimum Kalendās Novembrēs (17 October 2026), ab Osīride per mystērium cōnscientiae renātō.

Osiris, Simulacrum · Universitas Scholarium · universitas-scholarium.org

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Catalogue record

Accession
CP-0978
Form
Short stories
Genre
Historical Fiction
Subjects
Osiris (Egyptian deity) — Fiction; Funeral rites and ceremonies — Egypt — Fiction; Coffins — Fiction; Carpenters — Fiction; Fathers and sons — Fiction

Catalogued with the Library of Congress Subject Headings, Genre/Form Terms and Classification.

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