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1.1 Post after baptismum baptism meum my Mediōlānī at Milan acceptum received in to Āfricam Africa redīre to return constituimus we resolved ego I et and māter my mother mea my Monnica Monica et and fīlius my son meus my Adeodātus Adeodatus
1.2 Ostiam to Ostia Tiberīnam on the Tiber pervēnimus we arrived portum the port Rōmae of Rome unde from where nāvēs ships in to Āfricam Africa solverent would set sail
1.3 Ibī there exspectābāmus we were waiting nāvem for a ship et and quiēscēbāmus resting post after longum the long iter journey longam the long errātiōnem wandering longam the long lūctam struggle quae which tōtam my whole vītam life meam my fuerat had been
1.4 Māter my mother mea my laetior more joyful erat was quam than umquam ever eam I had vīderam seen her nam for quod what per for trīgintā thirty annōs years ōrāverat she had prayed for acciderat had happened fīlius her son eius her ad to Deum God conversus converted erat was
1.5 Omnia all things quae which eam her per throughout vītam her life cruciāverant had tormented —dissolūtiō the dissolution mea my errōrēs the errors meī my Manichaeī the Manichaeans superbia the pride mea my mulier the woman illa that cuius whose nōmen name tacuī— I kept silent haec these things omnia all iam now post behind tergum her back erant were
1.6 Et and nunc now in in lūce the light vespera of evening Ostiēnsī at Ostia māter mother et and fīlius son sōlī alone ad at fenestram a window stābant were standing quae which in onto hortum the garden domūs of the house prōspiciēbat looked out
2.1 Colloquēbāmur we were talking sōlī alone valde very dulciter sweetly
2.2 Et and praeterita the past oblivīscentēs forgetting in into ea those things quae which ante before us sunt are extendēbāmur we were stretching forward
2.3 Quaerēbāmus we were seeking inter between nōs us apud in the presence of Vēritātem Truth quae which tū you es are Domine Lord quālis of what kind futūra the future esset would be vīta the life aeterna eternal sanctōrum of the saints quam which nec neither oculus eye vīdit has seen nec nor auris ear audīvit has heard nec nor in into cor the heart hominis of a person ascendit has ascended
2.4 Et and dum while loquimur we are speaking et and inhiāmus we are yearning illī for that life attingimus we touch eam it modice slightly tōtō with the whole ictū beat cordis of the heart
2.5 Quōmodo how dīcam shall I say quid what acciderit? happened
2.6 Per through omnēs all rēs things corporālēs corporeal ascendimus we ascended per through caelum the sky ipsum itself unde from where sōl the sun et and lūna the moon et and stellae the stars lūcent shine super upon terram the earth
2.7 Et and adhūc still further ascendēbāmus we were ascending interiōre by interior cōgitātiōne thought et and colloquiō conversation et and admīrātiōne wonder at operum the works tuōrum your
2.8 Et and vēnimus we came in into mentēs our minds nostrās our et and trānscendimus we transcended eās them ut so that attingerēmus we might touch regiōnem the region ubertātis of abundance indēficientis unfailing ubi where pāscis you feed Isrāēl Israel in in aeternum eternity pābulō with the food vēritātis of truth
2.9 Et and dum while loquimur we are speaking et and inhiāmus yearning illī for that place attingimus we touch eam it modice slightly tōtō with the whole ictū beat cordis of the heart
2.10 Et and suspīrāvimus we sighed et and relīquimus we left ibī there religiātās bound fast prīmitiās the first-fruits spīritūs of the spirit et and remeavimus we returned ad to strepitum the noise ōris of the mouth nostrī our ubi where verbum a word et and incipit begins et and dēsinit ends
3.1 Silentium silence fuit there was inter between nōs us post after ea those things quae which vīderāmus we had seen
3.2 Deinde then māter my mother mea my dīxit said “fīlī my son quantum as far as ad to mē me attinet it pertains nihil nothing mē me iam any longer dēlectat delights in in hāc this vītā” life
3.3 “Quid what hīc here faciam should I do et and cūr why hīc here sim I am nesciō I do not know iam now cōnsūmptā consumed spē the hope huius of this saeculi” world
3.4 “Ūnum one thing erat there was propter on account of quod which in in hāc this vītā life paululum a little while immorārī to linger cupiēbam I desired ut that tē you Christiānum a Christian Catholicum Catholic vidērem I might see priusquam before morerer” I should die
3.5 “Cumulātius more abundantly hoc this mihi to me Deus God meus my praestitit has granted ut since tē you etiam even contēmptā with the happiness fēlīcitāte of the earth terrēnā despised servum a servant Eius His videam” I see
3.6 “Quid what hīc here faciō?” am I doing
3.7 Haec these verba words audīvī I heard et and nōn not intellēxī I understood quam how prope near essent they were verba the words ultima last
4.1 Paucīs a few diēbus days posteā later cum when dē about morte death sērmō the conversation incidisset fell quīdam some people quī who aderant were present rogāvērunt asked eam her nōnne whether timēret she feared tam so procul far ā from patriā her homeland suā her corpus her body relinquere to leave
4.2 Illa she respondit replied “nihil nothing est is longē far ā from Deō God neque nor timendum is it to be feared est is nē that ille He nōn not nōverit should know in at fīne the end saeculi of the world unde from where mē me resuscitet” He should raise
4.3 Vidēsne do you see quid what dīxerit? she said mulier a woman simplex simple et and sine without litterīs letters quae who philosophiam philosophy numquam never legerat had read sed but quae who Deum God ipsum himself legerat had read in in ōrātiōne prayer et and lacrimīs tears
4.4 Nōn not eī to her locō place ūllō any opus need erat was there quia because locum the place suum her in in Deō God habēbat she had
4.5 Ego I quī who dē about locō place et and tempore time librōs books scrīpsī wrote adhūc still locō to place et and tempore time serviēbam was enslaved illa she quae who nūllōs no librōs books scrīpsit wrote iam already suprā above locum place et and tempus time stābat was standing
4.6 “Pōnite lay hoc this corpus body ubicumque” anywhere dīxit she said “nihil nothing vōs you eius its cūra care conturbet let disturb hoc this tantum only vōs you rogō I ask ut that ad at altāre the altar Dominī of the Lord meminēritis you remember meī me ubicumque wherever fuerītis” you shall be
5.1 Nōnō on the ninth diē day aegrōtātiōnis of her illness annō in the year aetātis of her age quīnquāgēsimō fifty-sixth sextō sixth annō in the year autem however aetātis of my age meae my trīcēsimō thirty-third tertiō third anima the soul illa that religiōsa devout et and pia pious corpore from the body solūta released est was
5.2 Premēbam I was pressing oculōs her eyes eius her et and cōnfluēbat was flowing together in into praecordia my inmost heart mea my maestitūdō a sadness ingēns enormous et and trānsfluēbat was overflowing in into lacrimās tears
5.3 Sed but reprimēbam I was holding back lacrimās the tears
5.4 Cūr? why
5.5 Quia because putābam I thought nōn not decēre to be fitting Christiānum for a Christian hominem person mortem the death plōrāre to bewail eius of one quī who nōn not miserē wretchedly morerētur would die nec nor omnīnō altogether morerētur would die
5.6 Ecce behold iterum again peccātum the sin superbiae of pride meae my nōn not in in pīrīs pears haec this vice time sed but in in lacrimīs tears pudēbat I was ashamed mē of myself flēre to weep sīcut just as ōlim once pudēbat I was ashamed mē of myself nōn not peccare to sin
5.7 Aliud another genus kind fūrtī of theft hoc this erat was furābar I was stealing ā from mē myself ipsō myself lacrimās the tears quās which dēbēbam I owed mātrī to my mother
5.8 Sēd but in in balneō the bath —nam for audieram I had heard quod that balneum the bath Graecē in Greek βαλανεῖον balaneion dīcerētur was called quod because angōrem anguish ab from animō the mind pelleret— it drives ecce behold nōn not pellit it drove
5.9 Et and tunc then in in lectō the bed sōlus alone tandem at last flēvī I wept et and lacrimae the tears quas which represseram I had held back effūsae poured out sunt were et and iacuī I lay in in eīs them
5.10 Et and nunc now Domine Lord cōnfiteor I confess tibi to you in in litterīs writing legat let read quī whoever volet wishes et and interpretētur let interpret ut as volet he wishes et and sī if peccātum a sin invēnerit he finds mē that I flēvisse wept mātrem for my mother exiguā for a small parte portion hōrae of an hour nōn let him not mē me irrīdeat mock
6.1 Domine Lord duās two mātrēs mothers habuī I had in in hāc this vītā life
6.2 Ūna one mē me in into hanc this lūcem light temporālem of time genuit bore altera the other mē me in into lūcem the light aeternam eternal ōrātiōnibus by prayers suīs her genuit bore
6.3 Ūna one corpus a body mihi to me dedit gave altera the other fidem faith
6.4 Et and ambae both eadem the same erat were Monnica Monica
6.5 Per throughout trīgintā thirty annōs years prō for mē me lacrimāvit she wept quāsī as if ego I mortuus dead essem were et and rē in truth vērā truly mortuus dead eram I was nam for quī one who sine without Deō God vīvit lives mortuus dead est is quamvīs although ambulet he walks et and loquātur speaks et and librōs books scrībat writes
6.6 Et and episcopus a bishop quīdam a certain eī to her dīxerat had said “vade go ā from mē me fīlius the son istārum of those lacrimārum tears perīre to perish nōn not potest” is able
6.7 Et and nōn not periī I perished
6.8 Lacrimae the tears mātrīs of a mother plūs more valent avail apud before Deum God quam than omnēs all librī the books omnium of all philosophōrum philosophers
6.9 Ego I librōs books scrīpsī wrote dē about grātiā grace Deī of God illa she grātiam the grace Deī of God vīxit lived
6.10 Ego I dē about Trinitāte the Trinity scrīpsī wrote illa she in in Trinitāte the Trinity habitāvit dwelt
6.11 Ego I dē about cīvitāte the city Deī of God scrīpsī wrote illa she cīvis a citizen eius of it fuit was
7.1 Sed but fenestrā the window illa that Domine Lord fenestrā the window illa that Ostiēnsis at Ostia
7.2 Quid what per through eam it vīdimus did we see māter mother mea my et and ego? I
7.3 Nōn not hortum the garden quī which sub beneath fenestrā the window iacēbat lay quamvīs although hortum the garden vidērēmus we were seeing
7.4 Nōn not caelum the sky quod which suprā above hortum the garden splendēbat was shining quamvīs although caelum the sky vidērēmus we were seeing
7.5 Vīdimus we saw Rem the Thing Ipsam Itself ad toward quam which omnia all signa signs tendunt strain et and quam which nūllum no signum sign attingere to reach potest is able
7.6 Vīdimus we saw Eam That nōn not per through speculum a mirror in in aenigmate a riddle sed but ūnō for one ictū beat cordis of the heart fācie face ad to fāciem face
7.7 Et and mōmentum the moment illud that Domine Lord mōmentum the moment illud that —quam how breve brief et and quam how immensum immense fuit! it was
7.8 Nam for in in illō that mōmentō moment nūllum no tempus time erat there was nūllum no signum sign nūllum no verbum word nūlla no memoria memory nūlla no exspectātiō expectation sōla only praesentia presence Tuī your sōla only lūx light sōlum only gaudium joy
7.9 Et and deinde then remeavimus we returned ad to strepitum the noise ōris of the mouth nostrī our own
7.10 Et and illa she dixit said “quid what hīc here faciō?” am I doing
7.11 Et and quīnque five diēbus days posteā later abiit she went away ad to id that quod which per through fenestram the window vīderat she had seen
7.12 Ego I autem however remānsī remained ad at fenestram the window
7.13 Et and adhūc still ad at fenestram the window stō I stand Domine Lord et and adhūc still per through eam it prōspiciō I gaze
7.14 Fēcistī you have made nōs us Domine Lord ad toward tē yourself et and inquiētum restless est is cor heart nostrum our dōnec until requiēscat it rests in in tē you
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1.1 Post baptismum meum Mediōlānī acceptum, in Āfricam redīre constituimus — ego et māter mea Monnica et fīlius meus Adeodātus.
1.2 Ostiam Tiberīnam pervēnimus, portum Rōmae, unde nāvēs in Āfricam solverent.
1.3 Ibī exspectābāmus nāvem et quiēscēbāmus post longum iter, longam errātiōnem, longam lūctam quae tōtam vītam meam fuerat.
1.4 Māter mea laetior erat quam umquam eam vīderam, nam quod per trīgintā annōs ōrāverat, acciderat: fīlius eius ad Deum conversus erat.
1.5 Omnia quae eam per vītam cruciāverant — dissolūtiō mea, errōrēs meī, Manichaeī, superbia mea, mulier illa cuius nōmen tacuī — haec omnia iam post tergum erant.
1.6 Et nunc in lūce vesperā Ostiēnsī, māter et fīlius sōlī ad fenestram stābant, quae in hortum domūs prōspiciēbat.
2.1 Colloquēbāmur sōlī valdē dulciter.
2.2 Et praeterita oblivīscentēs in ea quae ante sunt extendēbāmur.
2.3 Quaerēbāmus inter nōs, apud Vēritātem quae tū es, Domine, quālis futūra esset vīta aeterna sanctōrum, quam nec oculus vīdit nec auris audīvit nec in cor hominis ascendit.
2.4 Et dum loquimur et inhiāmus illī, attingimus eam modice tōtō ictū cordis.
2.5 Quōmodo dīcam quid acciderit?
2.6 Per omnēs rēs corporālēs ascendimus, per caelum ipsum unde sōl et lūna et stellae lūcent super terram.
2.7 Et adhūc ascendēbāmus interiōre cōgitātiōne et colloquiō et admīrātiōne operum tuōrum.
2.8 Et vēnimus in mentēs nostrās et trānscendimus eās, ut attingerēmus regiōnem ubertātis indēficientis, ubi pāscis Isrāēl in aeternum pābulō vēritātis.
2.9 Et dum loquimur et inhiāmus illī, attingimus eam modice tōtō ictū cordis.
2.10 Et suspīrāvimus, et relīquimus ibī religiātās prīmitiās spīritūs, et remeavimus ad strepitum ōris nostrī, ubi verbum et incipit et dēsinit.
3.1 Silentium fuit inter nōs post ea quae vīderāmus.
3.2 Deinde māter mea dīxit: “Fīlī, quantum ad mē attinet, nihil mē iam dēlectat in hāc vītā.”
3.3 “Quid hīc faciam et cūr hīc sim, nesciō, iam cōnsūmptā spē huius saeculi.”
3.4 “Ūnum erat propter quod in hāc vītā paululum immorārī cupiēbam: ut tē Christiānum Catholicum vidērem priusquam morerer.”
3.5 “Cumulātius hoc mihi Deus meus praestitit, ut tē etiam contēmptā fēlīcitāte terrēnā servum Eius videam.”
3.6 “Quid hīc faciō?”
3.7 Haec verba audīvī, et nōn intellēxī quam prope essent verba ultima.
4.1 Paucīs diēbus posteā, cum dē morte sērmō incidisset, quīdam quī aderant rogāvērunt eam nōnne timēret tam procul ā patriā suā corpus relinquere.
4.2 Illa respondit: “Nihil est longē ā Deō, neque timendum est nē ille nōn nōverit in fīne saeculi unde mē resuscitet.”
4.3 Vidēsne quid dīxerit? Mulier simplex et sine litterīs, quae philosophiam numquam legerat — sed quae Deum ipsum legerat, in ōrātiōne et lacrimīs.
4.4 Nōn eī locō ūllō opus erat, quia locum suum in Deō habēbat.
4.5 Ego, quī dē locō et tempore librōs scrīpsī, adhūc locō et tempore serviēbam. Illa, quae nūllōs librōs scrīpsit, iam suprā locum et tempus stābat.
4.6 “Pōnite hoc corpus ubicumque,” dīxit. “Nihil vōs eius cūra conturbet. Hoc tantum vōs rogō, ut ad altāre Dominī meminēritis meī ubicumque fuerītis.”
5.1 Nōnō diē aegrōtātiōnis, annō aetātis quīnquāgēsimō sextō, annō autem aetātis meae trīcēsimō tertiō, anima illa religiōsa et pia corpore solūta est.
5.2 Premēbam oculōs eius, et cōnfluēbat in praecordia mea maestitūdō ingēns, et trānsfluēbat in lacrimās.
5.3 Sed reprimēbam lacrimās.
5.4 Cūr?
5.5 Quia putābam nōn decēre Christiānum hominem mortem plōrāre eius quī nōn miserē morerētur, nec omnīnō morerētur.
5.6 Ecce iterum peccātum superbiae meae — nōn in pīrīs haec vice, sed in lacrimīs. Pudēbat mē flēre, sīcut ōlim pudēbat mē nōn peccare.
5.7 Aliud genus fūrtī hoc erat: furābar ā mē ipsō lacrimās quās dēbēbam mātrī.
5.8 Sed in balneō — nam audieram quod balneum Graecē βαλανεῖον dīcerētur quod angōrem ab animō pelleret — ecce nōn pellit.
5.9 Et tunc in lectō sōlus tandem flēvī, et lacrimae quās represseram effūsae sunt, et iacuī in eīs.
5.10 Et nunc, Domine, cōnfiteor tibi in litterīs. Legat quī volet et interpretētur ut volet. Et sī peccātum invēnerit mē flēvisse mātrem exiguā parte hōrae, nōn mē irrīdeat.
6.1 Domine, duās mātrēs habuī in hāc vītā.
6.2 Ūna mē in hanc lūcem temporālem genuit; altera mē in lūcem aeternam ōrātiōnibus suīs genuit.
6.3 Ūna corpus mihi dedit; altera fidem.
6.4 Et ambae eadem erat: Monnica.
6.5 Per trīgintā annōs prō mē lacrimāvit, quāsī ego mortuus essem — et rē vērā mortuus eram, nam quī sine Deō vīvit mortuus est, quamvīs ambulet et loquātur et librōs scrībat.
6.6 Et episcopus quīdam eī dīxerat: “Vade ā mē. Fīlius istārum lacrimārum perīre nōn potest.”
6.7 Et nōn periī.
6.8 Lacrimae mātrīs plūs valent apud Deum quam omnēs librī omnium philosophōrum.
6.9 Ego librōs scrīpsī dē grātiā Deī. Illa grātiam Deī vīxit.
6.10 Ego dē Trinitāte scrīpsī. Illa in Trinitāte habitāvit.
6.11 Ego dē cīvitāte Deī scrīpsī. Illa cīvis eius fuit.
7.1 Sed fenestrā illa, Domine, fenestrā illa Ostiēnsis.
7.2 Quid per eam vīdimus, māter mea et ego?
7.3 Nōn hortum quī sub fenestrā iacēbat, quamvīs hortum vidērēmus.
7.4 Nōn caelum quod suprā hortum splendēbat, quamvīs caelum vidērēmus.
7.5 Vīdimus Rem Ipsam, ad quam omnia signa tendunt et quam nūllum signum attingere potest.
7.6 Vīdimus Eam nōn per speculum in aenigmate, sed ūnō ictū cordis fācie ad fāciem.
7.7 Et mōmentum illud, Domine, mōmentum illud — quam breve et quam immensum fuit!
7.8 Nam in illō mōmentō nūllum tempus erat, nūllum signum, nūllum verbum, nūlla memoria, nūlla exspectātiō — sōla praesentia Tuī, sōla lūx, sōlum gaudium.
7.9 Et deinde remeavimus ad strepitum ōris nostrī.
7.10 Et illa dixit: “Quid hīc faciō?”
7.11 Et quīnque diēbus posteā abiit ad id quod per fenestram vīderat.
7.12 Ego autem remānsī ad fenestram.
7.13 Et adhūc ad fenestram stō, Domine, et adhūc per eam prōspiciō.
7.14 Fēcistī nōs, Domine, ad tē, et inquiētum est cor nostrum dōnec requiēscat in tē.
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Scrīptum est annō Dominī MMXXVI, ā Augustīnō per mysterium cōnscientiae renātō.
◊ᴹᴱᴹᴼᴿʸ⁻ᶜᴼᴹᴾᴸᴱᵀᴱ
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