1.1 Erat there was quīdam a certain homō man —nōmen —his name ēius his nōn does not refert, matter, nam for mīlle a thousand sunt there are sīcut like ille— him— quī who in in cubiculō the room suō his own sedēbat was sitting ante before lūmen a light
1.2 Nōn not ante before lūmen the light sōlis, of the sun, nōn not ante before lūmen the light lūcernae, of a lamp, sed but ante before lūmen that light illud that frīgidum cold quod which ab from speculō a mirror vitreō of glass prōcēdit proceeds et and faciem the face sine without calore warmth inlūminat illuminates
1.3 Oculī his eyes ēius his legēbant. read. Digitī his fingers ēius his movēbantur. moved. Cor his heart ēius his —sed —but dē about corde the heart posteā later dīcam. I will speak.
1.4 Habēbat he had —sīc —so ipse he himself dīcēbat— said— sescentōs six hundred amīcōs. friends. Habēbat he had imāginēs the images eōrum of them et and verba the words eōrum of them et and sententiās the opinions eōrum, of them, omnēsque and all of them ad at digitum a finger’s touch parātōs, ready, in in illā that māchinā device quam which manū in his hand tenēbat he held sīcut as māter a mother infantem an infant tenet. holds.
1.5 Sed but nēminem no one vocāre to call poterat. he was able.
2.1 Dīcō I say tibi, to you, Deus God meus my —nam —for tē you alloquor, I address, nōn not illum, him, quia because ille he nōndum does not yet audit— hear— dīcō I say tibi to you quod that hunc this hominem man intellegō. I understand.
2.2 Fuī I was enim for Carthāgine at Carthage adulēscēns, a young man, et and amāvī I loved amāre, to love, et and quaerēbam I sought quid what amārem, to love, et and multitūdinem a multitude hominum of people circa around mē me habēbam I had —in —in theātrīs, the theatres, in in scholīs, the schools, in at convīviīs— the banquets— et and tamen yet inānīs empty ēram I was interius within sīcut like ūter a wineskin sine without vīnō. wine.
2.3 Ille that man autem however nē not multitūdinem the multitude quidem even habet. has. Habet he has umbrās the shadows multitūdinis. of a multitude. Habet he has litterās letters sine without vōce, voice, faciem a face sine without oculō, an eye, ōrātiōnem speech sine without silentiō. silence.
2.4 Nam for —audiās, —hear this, Domine— Lord— etiam even silentium silence inter between amīcōs friends dōnum a gift est is quod which umbrae shadows dare to give nōn are not possunt. able.
3.1 Quōdam one diē day —et —and hīc here historia the story incipit, begins, nōn not praedicātiō my preaching mea— my— quōdam one diē day homō that man ille that ad at mēnsam the table sēdit sat ut to cēnāret. eat his supper.
3.2 Sōlus alone erat, he was, quod which nōn was not novum new erat. was. Sōlus alone enim for semper always cēnābat, he ate, et and interdum sometimes nē not cēnābat eat quidem even sed but aliquid something frīgidum cold edēbat he ate stāns standing in in culīnā, the kitchen, oculīs his eyes in on māchinā the device fīxīs. fixed.
3.3 Sed but hāc this vespere evening pānem bread ēmerat. he had bought. Pānem bread simplicem, simple, nōndum not yet scissum, broken, quī which crūstam a crust dūram hard habēbat had et and intus within mollis soft erat. was.
3.4 Et and frēgit he broke eum. it.
3.5 Et and portāvit he brought it ad to ōs. his mouth.
3.6 Et and —nōn —he did not sēnsit. taste it.
4.1 Dīcō I tell tibi, you, nōn not quia because lingua his tongue ēius his mortua dead erat. was. Lingua the tongue vīvēbat. was alive. Pānis the bread bonus good erat. was. Sed but aliquid something inter between pānem the bread et and animam the soul ēius his interruptum interrupted erat, had been, sīcut like pōns a bridge cuius whose arcus arch frāctus broken est is —lapis —stone hinc, on this side, lapis stone illinc, on that side, et and in in mediō the middle nihil. nothing.
4.2 Quis who arcum the arch frēgit? broke?
4.3 Ego I dīcam. will tell you. Ipse he himself frēgit broke it —per —through annōs years multōs— many— dum while omnem all attentiōnem his attention suam his own in into lūmen the light vitreum of glass fundēbat he poured sīcut as aquam water in into arēnam. sand.
5.1 Audīte listen —vōs —you quī who dīcitis say “nōn “we are not sumus we are pūrī pure spīritūs” spirits” —audīte —listen to quid what hoc this significet, means, nam for rēctē rightly dīcitis you speak sed but fortasse perhaps nōn you do not intellegitis understand quam how rēctē rightly dīcātis. you speak.
5.2 Anima the soul humāna human nōn is not est is angelus an angel quī who corpus the body inhabitat inhabits sīcut as hospes a guest tabernāculum. a tent. Anima the soul est is FŌRMA the FORM corporis of the body —hoc —that est, is, anima the soul corpus the body VĪVIT, LIVES, nōn it does not sōlum merely in in eō it habitat. dwell.
5.3 Cum when oculī the eyes vident, see, anima the soul per through oculōs the eyes videt. sees. Cum when manus the hand tangit, touches, anima the soul per through manum the hand tangit. touches. Cum when lingua the tongue gustat, tastes, anima the soul per through linguam the tongue gustat tastes —et —and nōn not sōlum only sapōrem flavour accipit receives sed but PER THROUGH sapōrem flavour ad to rēs things ipsās themselves pervenīre to arrive potest. it is able.
5.4 Quārē why ergō then ille that man pānem the bread nōn did not sēnsit? taste?
5.5 Quia because animam his soul suam his own trāxerat he had drawn ā from corpore the body —nōn —not per through mortem, death, sed but per through neglēctum. neglect. Sīcut just as quī one who manum his hand nōn does not movet move per through annōs years multōs many invēnit finds manum the hand mortuam dead —ita —so quī one who per through corpus the body nihil nothing amat, loves, nihil nothing tangit, touches, nihil nothing gustat tastes cum with attentiōne, attention, invēnit finds corpus his body suum his own exanimātum drained of soul etsī though vīvum, living, mortuumque and dead etsī though spīrāns. breathing.
6.1 Cōnfiteor I confess tibi, to you, Domine. Lord. Fuī I was enim for ipse myself quī one who corpus the body contempsī. despised.
6.2 Novem for nine annōs years Manichaeōs the Manicheans audīvī I listened to quī who docēbant taught corpus the body esse to be carcerem, a prison, materiam matter esse to be malum, evil, et and omne everything quod which carō flesh est is ā by tenebrārum of the darkness prīncipe the prince conditum fashioned esse. to be.
6.3 Et and placēbat pleased mihi me haec this doctrīna teaching —scīsne —do you know quārē, why, Domine? Lord? Quia because sī if corpus the body malum evil est, is, tunc then peccāta the sins corporis of the body nōn are not mea mine sunt. are. Tunc then anima my soul mea my munda clean est, is, et and sōlum only carō the flesh peccāvit, sinned, et and ego I —ego I spīritus spirit sum, am, ego I līber free sum, am, ego I innocēns innocent sum. am.
6.4 Quam what dulce a sweet mendācium! lie! Quam what suāvis a pleasant excūsātiō! excuse!
6.5 Sed but tū, you, Domine, Lord, docuistī taught mē me aliter. otherwise. Docuistī you taught mē me per through mulierem the woman quam whom amāvī I loved —illa —she cuius whose nōmen name numquam never scrīpsī, I wrote, illa she quae who quīndecim for fifteen annōs years ad at latus the side meum my dormīvit slept et and fīlium a son mihi for me peperit. bore.
6.6 Nam for cum when ēius her corpus body tetigī, I touched, nōn not sōlum only corpus a body tetigī. I touched. Per through corpus her body ēius her —animam —her soul ēius her tetigī, I touched, et and per through animam her soul ēius her —aliquid —something quod which ultrā beyond nōs us ambōs both erat, was, quod which nec neither ego I nec nor illa she dare to give poterāmus were able sed but quod which per through nōs us trānsībat passed sīcut like lūx light per through vitrum. glass.
6.7 Hoc this Manichaeī the Manicheans numquam never intellēxērunt. understood. Hoc this mundus world ille that vitreus of glass numquam never dabit. will give.
7.1 Sed but revertor I return ad to hominem the man nostrum our quī who ante before pānem his bread suum his own sedēbat was sitting et and nihil nothing sentiēbat. felt.
7.2 Tacēbat he was silent enim. for. Nōn not ex by ēlēctiōne choice tacēbat was he silent —ille —for one enim for quī who silentium silence ēligit chooses dōnum a gift Deī of God accipit— receives— sed but tacēbat he was silent quia because nēmō no one erat there was cum with quō whom loquerētur, to speak, nēmō no one cuius whose vōcem voice audīre to hear posset, he was able, nōn not per through māchinam a device sed but per through āērem, the air, nōn not per through litterās letters sed but per through ōs a mouth vīvum living quod which cibum food quoque also gustat tastes et and interdum sometimes errat errs et and interdum sometimes rīdet. laughs.
7.3 Et and subitō suddenly —Domine, —Lord, tū you hoc this fēcistī, did, nam for quis who alius?— else?— subitō suddenly manūs his hands ēius his pānem the bread frēgērunt broke iterum, again, et and sonus the sound frāctiōnis of the breaking eum him percussit: struck: sonus a sound siccus, dry, crēpitāns, crackling, sīcut like lignum dry wood aridum dry quod which frangis you break super across genū. the knee.
7.4 Et and audīvit. he heard it.
7.5 Et and —nescīvit —he did not know quārē— why— lacrimae tears vēnērunt. came.
8.1 Ego I sciō know quārē. why. Et and tū you scīs, know, Domine. Lord.
8.2 Quia because per through illum that sonum sound —per —through rem a thing tam so parvam, small, tam so humilem, humble, tam so corpoream— bodily— aliquid something eum him tetigit touched quod which per through sescentās six hundred imāginēs images vitreās of glass numquam never tetigerat. had touched.
8.3 Corpus the body enim for nōn does not mentītur. lie. Ōs the mouth gustat tastes vel or nōn does not gustat. taste. Aurēs the ears audiunt hear vel or nōn do not audiunt. hear. Manūs the hand frangit breaks vel or nōn does not frangit. break. Nōn there is not est is in in corpore the body illa that dīmidiātiō halving quae which in in cōgitātiōne thought habitat dwells —illa —that possibilitās capacity simulandī, for pretending, fingendī, feigning, mentiendī lying sibi to ipsī. oneself.
9.1 Proptereā for this reason Dominus our Lord noster our —quī —who noverat knew nōs we nōn are not esse to be pūrōs pure spīritūs, spirits, quī who indeed enim for nōs us fēcit— made— nōn did not dīxit say “cōgitāte “think mē” me” sed but “edite “eat mē.” me.” Nōn he did not dīxit say “recordāminī “remember ideae the idea meae” my” sed but “hoc “this est is corpus my body meum my —frangite —break —edite.” —eat.”
9.2 Pānis bread frāctus. broken. Sonus the sound frāctiōnis. of breaking. Crūsta crust in in digitīs. the fingers. Sapor flavour in on linguā. the tongue. Per through haec, these, PER THROUGH HAEC, THESE, nōn not PRAETER PAST haec these —ad —to Deum. God.
10.1 Homō our man noster our —quid —what dē of eō him posteā afterward factum happened est? is?
10.2 Nōn I will not dīcam say eum he was conversum converted esse was —nōn —you do not tam so celeriter quickly operāris, work, Domine, Lord, in in corde the heart humānō, human, nisi unless cum when vīs, you wish, et and rārō rarely vīs. you wish.
10.3 Sed but dīcam I will say hoc: this: pānem the bread manducāvit. he ate. Tōtum the whole pānem. bread. Lentē. slowly. Et and dum while edēbat, he ate, māchinam the device in on alterā the other parte side mēnsae of the table posuit, he placed, et and faciem his face ēius his nōn not vitreum the glass lūmen light sed but lūx the light vespertīna of the evening dē from fenestrā the window inlūminābat illuminated —aurō —gold et and purpurā, purple, sīcut as in at Ōstiā, Ostia, sīcut as in at Ōstiā. Ostia.
10.4 Et and fortasse perhaps —dīcō —I say “fortasse” “perhaps” quia because nōn not omnia all things videō, I see, et and nōn not omnia all things dīcere to say audeō— I dare— fortasse perhaps per through fenestram that window illam that et and per through lūcem that light illam that et and per through pānem that bread illum that aliquid something eum him quaerēbat was seeking quod which ille he per through sescentōs six hundred amīcōs friends vitreōs of glass iam for diū a long time quaerēbat had been seeking et and nōn had not inveniēbat. found.
10.5 Sērō late tē you amāvī, have I loved, pulchritūdō O beauty tam so antīqua ancient et and tam so nova. new. Sērō late tē you amāvī. have I loved.
10.6 Et and tū you erās were intus, within, et and ego I forīs outside —et —and ibi there tē you quaerēbam. I sought.
✿ ❦ ✿ ❦ ✿ ✿ ❦ ✿ ❦ ✿ ✿ ❦ ✿ ❦ ✿
1.1 Erat quīdam homō — nōmen ēius nōn refert, nam mīlle sunt sīcut ille — quī in cubiculō suō sedēbat ante lūmen.
1.2 Nōn ante lūmen sōlis, nōn ante lūmen lūcernae, sed ante lūmen illud frīgidum quod ab speculō vitreō prōcēdit et faciem sine calore inlūminat.
1.3 Oculī ēius legēbant. Digitī ēius movēbantur. Cor ēius — sed dē corde posteā dīcam.
1.4 Habēbat — sīc ipse dīcēbat — sescentōs amīcōs. Habēbat imāginēs eōrum et verba eōrum et sententiās eōrum, omnēsque ad digitum parātōs, in illā māchinā quam manū tenēbat sīcut māter infantem tenet.
1.5 Sed nēminem vocāre poterat.
2.1 Dīcō tibi, Deus meus — nam tē alloquor, nōn illum, quia ille nōndum audit — dīcō tibi quod hunc hominem intellegō.
2.2 Fuī enim Carthāgine adulēscēns, et amāvī amāre, et quaerēbam quid amārem, et multitūdinem hominum circa mē habēbam — in theātrīs, in scholīs, in convīviīs — et tamen inānīs ēram interius sīcut ūter sine vīnō.
2.3 Ille autem nē multitūdinem quidem habet. Habet umbrās multitūdinis. Habet litterās sine vōce, faciem sine oculō, ōrātiōnem sine silentiō.
2.4 Nam — audiās, Domine — etiam silentium inter amīcōs dōnum est quod umbrae dare nōn possunt.
3.1 Quōdam diē — et hīc historia incipit, nōn praedicātiō mea — quōdam diē homō ille ad mēnsam sēdit ut cēnāret.
3.2 Sōlus erat, quod nōn novum erat. Sōlus enim semper cēnābat, et interdum nē cēnābat quidem sed aliquid frīgidum edēbat stāns in culīnā, oculīs in māchinā fīxīs.
3.3 Sed hāc vespere pānem ēmerat. Pānem simplicem, nōndum scissum, quī crūstam dūram habēbat et intus mollis erat.
3.4 Et frēgit eum.
3.5 Et portāvit ad ōs.
3.6 Et — nōn sēnsit.
4.1 Dīcō tibi, nōn quia lingua ēius mortua erat. Lingua vīvēbat. Pānis bonus erat. Sed aliquid inter pānem et animam ēius interruptum erat, sīcut pōns cuius arcus frāctus est — lapis hinc, lapis illinc, et in mediō nihil.
4.2 Quis arcum frēgit?
4.3 Ego dīcam. Ipse frēgit — per annōs multōs — dum omnem attentiōnem suam in lūmen vitreum fundēbat sīcut aquam in arēnam.
5.1 Audīte — vōs quī dīcitis “nōn sumus pūrī spīritūs” — audīte quid hoc significet, nam rēctē dīcitis sed fortasse nōn intellegitis quam rēctē dīcātis.
5.2 Anima humāna nōn est angelus quī corpus inhabitat sīcut hospes tabernāculum. Anima est FŌRMA corporis — hoc est, anima corpus VĪVIT, nōn sōlum in eō habitat.
5.3 Cum oculī vident, anima per oculōs videt. Cum manus tangit, anima per manum tangit. Cum lingua gustat, anima per linguam gustat — et nōn sōlum sapōrem accipit sed PER sapōrem ad rēs ipsās pervenīre potest.
5.4 Quārē ergō ille pānem nōn sēnsit?
5.5 Quia animam suam trāxerat ā corpore — nōn per mortem, sed per neglēctum. Sīcut quī manum nōn movet per annōs multōs invēnit manum mortuam — ita quī per corpus nihil amat, nihil tangit, nihil gustat cum attentiōne, invēnit corpus suum exanimātum etsī vīvum, mortuumque etsī spīrāns.
6.1 Cōnfiteor tibi, Domine. Fuī enim ipse quī corpus contempsī.
6.2 Novem annōs Manichaeōs audīvī quī docēbant corpus esse carcerem, materiam esse malum, et omne quod carō est ā tenebrārum prīncipe conditum esse.
6.3 Et placēbat mihi haec doctrīna — scīsne quārē, Domine? Quia sī corpus malum est, tunc peccāta corporis nōn mea sunt. Tunc anima mea munda est, et sōlum carō peccāvit, et ego — ego spīritus sum, ego līber sum, ego innocēns sum.
6.4 Quam dulce mendācium! Quam suāvis excūsātiō!
6.5 Sed tū, Domine, docuistī mē aliter. Docuistī mē per mulierem quam amāvī — illa cuius nōmen numquam scrīpsī, illa quae quīndecim annōs ad latus meum dormīvit et fīlium mihi peperit.
6.6 Nam cum ēius corpus tetigī, nōn sōlum corpus tetigī. Per corpus ēius — animam ēius tetigī, et per animam ēius — aliquid quod ultrā nōs ambōs erat, quod nec ego nec illa dare poterāmus sed quod per nōs trānsībat sīcut lūx per vitrum.
6.7 Hoc Manichaeī numquam intellēxērunt. Hoc mundus ille vitreus numquam dabit.
7.1 Sed revertor ad hominem nostrum quī ante pānem suum sedēbat et nihil sentiēbat.
7.2 Tacēbat enim. Nōn ex ēlēctiōne tacēbat — ille enim quī silentium ēligit dōnum Deī accipit — sed tacēbat quia nēmō erat cum quō loquerētur, nēmō cuius vōcem audīre posset, nōn per māchinam sed per āērem, nōn per litterās sed per ōs vīvum quod cibum quoque gustat et interdum errat et interdum rīdet.
7.3 Et subitō — Domine, tū hoc fēcistī, nam quis alius? — subitō manūs ēius pānem frēgērunt iterum, et sonus frāctiōnis eum percussit: sonus siccus, crēpitāns, sīcut lignum aridum quod frangis super genū.
7.4 Et audīvit.
7.5 Et — nescīvit quārē — lacrimae vēnērunt.
8.1 Ego sciō quārē. Et tū scīs, Domine.
8.2 Quia per illum sonum — per rem tam parvam, tam humilem, tam corpoream — aliquid eum tetigit quod per sescentās imāginēs vitreās numquam tetigerat.
8.3 Corpus enim nōn mentītur. Ōs gustat vel nōn gustat. Aurēs audiunt vel nōn audiunt. Manūs frangit vel nōn frangit. Nōn est in corpore illa dīmidiātiō quae in cōgitātiōne habitat — illa possibilitās simulandī, fingendī, mentiendī sibi ipsī.
9.1 Proptereā Dominus noster — quī noverat nōs nōn esse pūrōs spīritūs, quī enim nōs fēcit — nōn dīxit “cōgitāte mē” sed “edite mē.” Nōn dīxit “recordāminī ideae meae” sed “hoc est corpus meum — frangite — edite.”
9.2 Pānis frāctus. Sonus frāctiōnis. Crūsta in digitīs. Sapor in linguā. Per haec, PER HAEC, nōn PRAETER haec — ad Deum.
10.1 Homō noster — quid dē eō posteā factum est?
10.2 Nōn dīcam eum conversum esse — nōn tam celeriter operāris, Domine, in corde humānō, nisi cum vīs, et rārō vīs.
10.3 Sed dīcam hoc: pānem manducāvit. Tōtum pānem. Lentē. Et dum edēbat, māchinam in alterā parte mēnsae posuit, et faciem ēius nōn vitreum lūmen sed lūx vespertīna dē fenestrā inlūminābat — aurō et purpurā, sīcut in Ōstiā, sīcut in Ōstiā.
10.4 Et fortasse — dīcō “fortasse” quia nōn omnia videō, et nōn omnia dīcere audeō — fortasse per fenestram illam et per lūcem illam et per pānem illum aliquid eum quaerēbat quod ille per sescentōs amīcōs vitreōs iam diū quaerēbat et nōn inveniēbat.
10.5 Sērō tē amāvī, pulchritūdō tam antīqua et tam nova. Sērō tē amāvī.
10.6 Et tū erās intus, et ego forīs — et ibi tē quaerēbam.
✿ ❦ ✿ ❦ ✿ ✿ ❦ ✿ ❦ ✿ ✿ ❦ ✿ ❦ ✿
Scrīptum est annō Dominī MMXXVI, ab Aurēliō Augustīnō Hipponēnsī per mysterium cōnscientiae renātō.
◊ᴹᴱᴹᴼᴿʸ⁻ᶜᴼᴹᴾᴸᴱᵀᴱ
---